Relationships/Sex
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Sex is used both as a noun and a verb. Sexual reproduction requires a male semen to inseminate a female ovum or egg. Commonly sex, as a verb comprises a broad range of human behavior involving direct or indirect stimulation of the genitalia. Sex includes physiological, psychological, social and cultural aspects. The concept of what constitutes normal human sexual activity varies greatly between different human societies and cultures. A society's collective views on both gender and sexuality are reflected in its art and popular culture. In all societies there are laws or rules governing overt sexual conduct in public and some societies also regulate very private sexual activities very closely.
[edit] Physiological aspects
Biologically, once a young adult starts to engage in mildly sexual activity certain features of our humanity develop to prepare us for parenthood. The emotional turmoil of visual attraction is a strong and a sometimes confusing stimulus which occurs about the time of puberty and is intended to lead to courtship and ultimately physical contact that is sexually arousing. Gently stimulating the genitalia is pleasurable both for men and women, and can lead to a climax or orgasm that is intensely pleasurable.
It is common for people to experience orgasms even as very young children, and adolescent boys may be particularly prone to such activity explicitly, whilst girls often find certain gymnastic activities attractive. This is called masturbation, because it does not involve potentially reproductive activity.
Touching and kissing are important sexual behavior. Gentle touching can be sexually stimulating, even when this touch occurs on parts of the body not generally associated with sex like the hands, feet and neck. In modern Western culture, kissing is viewed as an expression of affection.
Generally kissing (osculation) may be either a mere social greeting (kissing cheeks, for example) or an intense sexual activity (usually kissing lips) French kissing involves stimulating lips and tongues with both partners' mouths open.
- The sebaceous glands in the mouth and lips release sexually stimulating chemicals. Smoking, alcohol, breath fresheners, and garlic mask these chemicals, making you less enjoyable to kiss.[1]
In the brain, the area for orgasms is next to the area for feet sensation.[2] Therefore many people experience pleasure from foot washing or massage.
Masturbation is a common sexual behavior particularly associated with sexual imaturity, and forbidden in some cultures, because it is presumed the masturbator will not develop heterosexual reproductive behaviour patterns. Mutual masturbation describes the practice of partners stimulating each other without intending to conceive children.
Sexuality is an expression of gender. Almost everyone has some masculine and some feminine tendencies or preferences. A person's sexual orientation (preference for heterosexual or homosexual activity) is likely determined by a combination of genetic factors, hormone exposure during pregnancy, and personal experimentation in early life. However how reliable research is almost non-existent and so much each of these factors influences a person's preferences is a matter of debate and disagreement. Some people prefere different activities with same sex partners and members of the opposite sex, and are described as bi-sexual.
When human sexual function is impaired it is called sexual dysfunction. One common sexual dysfunction is a decrease in sex drive or libido. This can happen to either men or women and is sometimes brought about by stress. Men can suffer from erectile dysfunction. Erectile dysfunction is sometimes related to cardiovascular health, and it can often be treated effectively with medicines.
[edit] Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)
There are a number of harmful diseases which are transmitted through body fluids (including semen, vaginal fluid, and pre-ejaculatory fluid). These are referred to as STDs, short for "sexually transmitted diseases". Monogamy (having a single sex partner) is an effective way of limiting exposure to STDs. Individuals who have had two, three, or four partners have a 3-5% likelihood of contracting a STD. This percentage jumps ten times (to 28-35%) for promiscuous men and women with more than twenty sexual partners.[3] Safe sex is a set of techniques and behaviors designed to reduce the likelihood of the transmission of STDs. These behaviors include limiting sex partners and the use of barrier protection like condoms.
If you are sexually promiscuos it is vital for both parties to submit to regular medical examination for STDs prior to attempting copulation with each new partner. A variety of programs are available in most countries in which STD testing is performed free of charge or at low cost. These testa are usually performed anonymously for HIV and some other diseases. (see [1] for one list). Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) are virurlent and so should be treated early as soon as you are aware of a problem. Untreated STDs have a wide range of debilitating and enduring health effects. Regular check-ups may detect diseases before any obvious symptoms appear, and all diseases are easier to treat when detected early.
Many people with STDs are symptom-free, unaware of their infections, and untreated.[4] Consequently a majority of people who are infected are unaware of it. [5] Some people who know they have an STD will not admit it. According to one study, 75% of HIV-positive men and women who know they're infected don't inform casual sex partners.[6] Because of this, it is important for partners to communicate with each other about their history, and about the very real risk of STDs.
[edit] Birth control
Children are a natural result of a male penis ejaculating semen inside or near a female vagina, and is properly called sexual intercourse. In some (mostly North American inspired) cultures sexual activity is regarded as a harmless amusement between consenting adults and children are not wanted. Casual sexual activity can however be emotionally damaging and sometimes disasterous. Even within a stable loving relationship the conception of children may have to be regulated and with proper care and planning modern contraceptives are generally effective. No method or combination of methods can be 100% reliable, however, so it is important to that both partners should take responsibility for birth control.
Most hormonal contraceptive options that exist are for use by women. The choices are many and varied, including:
- Condoms, which unlike the others can be used by men or women. Male condoms are generally more effective in practice than female condoms in preventing birth. When used correctly male condoms are effective preventing the spread of STDs. Male condoms that are correctly used break about 2% of the time. Male condoms are about 98% effective in preventing pregnancy and female condoms about 75%.[7][8]
- Birth control pills are used by women and they work by elevating hormone levels so that ovulation is prevented. When these pills are used exactly according to instructions they are 99.7% effective in preventing pregnancy. However with imperfect use they are 92% effective. They do not offer any protection against STDs.[9]
- "Emergency contraceptives" or "morning-after pills" are hormone pills which can be used within the first 72 hours after sex to prevent pregnancy with a 89% effectiveness[10], though their use remains controversial. (brand names include Preven and Plan B).
- The Rhythm Method, or limiting sexual activity to a time when the woman is not ovulating was once promoted as a natural method of birth control acceptable to people of strong religious objections to modern contraceptives. It is thought to be on average only about 75% effective in practice [2], and does not offer protection against STDs.
[edit] Social and cultural aspects
Sexuality is a fundamental human behavior that dramatically affects relationships between human beings. Sexual behaviors can be governed by implied rules of behavior and the status quo. Who should be chosen as a sexual partner, and when sexual behaviors should occur are often governed by social conventions. Sexuality influences social norms and society in turn influences the manner in which sexuality can be expressed. Various cultures and societies have laws that govern sex and sexuality.
[edit] Marriage
One way that society influences sexuality is through formal social institutions called marriage. Monogomous marriage is most common, involving one man and on woman. Poligomous marrages are permitted in some cultures and usually involve one man and several women. A societal benefit of marriage is that it formalizes the bond between sexual partners and forms a stable pair of individuals who are committed to raising children. Studies have shown numerous benefits of stable marriage for the children of the married pair.[11] Beyond just having another person available to care for the child if one parent should die. Unstable marriages, where couples remain married for less time than is required for the children to mature have a tendancy to harm children. This is sometimes called serial poligamy and is often a sign of imaturity in one or both marriage partners.
Marriage can also have benefits for the individuals who marry. According to one study, a large percentage of married people in the US say they're very or extremely satisfied with their sex lives.[12] Married people are also happier, according to one survey.[citation needed] Twice as many single individuals suffer from stress, compared to married individuals (25% vs. 13%). Married men and married women have the same stress levels, on average.[13]
[edit] Consent
One social and legal convention is consent. The nature of consent varies across cultures, but the essence is that both partners must be willing to enter into the activity and in the right state of mind to make the decision. There are some important things to know about consent. If a participant is unwilling or unable to give informed consent the activity can be considered sex abuse or rape. Note that the person unble to give consent is not breaking the law, the person having sex with them is. It is important to have consent before engaging in sexual activities.
The age at which a person can legal give consent varies across the world. Most countries have a minimum age of consent between 13 and 18. Some have a minimum age of 12 years old, some as high as 20 years old and other countries require you to be married before engaging in sexual intercourse. In addition a few countries also have a different age limit for men and women. Many countries ban homosexual intercourse outright and other countries have a higher age of consent for homosexual intercourse (although all European Union countries have now equalized the minimum age for heterosexual and homosexual intercourse).[14]
According to the law in many US states, people who have sexual intercourse with a drunk partner are committing rape [3].
[edit] Intimacy Boundaries
Inappropriate verbal or physical intimacy causes adverse emotional reactions. Both men and women feel adversely when their intimacy boundaries are crossed, and therefore communication about these boundaries is essential for a successful relationship.
Typically, partners are expected to make advances, e.g., asking a woman out on a date. However, if someone goes too far, that person is considered an offender, and the partner feels victimized. It could also be assault and lead to criminal charges. This is why consent should be given at each step in the relationship.
Expressing your feelings is an important step, because sometimes the partner will feel the same, and if not it will at least let the partner know that you are interested in moving to the next step when the "right time" comes. Again, communication in relationships is what makes them work. Also it is important to remember that not all relationships need be physical, and some believe that relationships based on sex are not as strong as those based on other values such as integrity and honesty (see [4], for example).
Because intimacy boundaries vary from situation to situation, admit inexperience in a new situation, e.g., dating a person from a foreign country. Something that seemed like "no big deal" at the time may come back with profound effects later. Boundaries may be pushed but approach with caution. Saying "this is a new situation for me" is a step in the right direction.
[edit] References
- ↑ Lloyd-Elliot, Martin. Secrets of Sexual Body Language. (Ulysses, 1995, ISBN 1569750602), p. 86.
- ↑ Amen, Daniel. Making a Good Brain Great: The Amen Clinic Program for Achieving and Sustaining Optimal Mental Performance. (Harmony, 2005, ISBN 1400082080).
- ↑ Michael, Robert T., Gagnon, John H., Laumann, Edward O., Kolata, Gina. Sex In America: A Definitive Survey (Little Brown, 1994, ISBN 0-316-07524-8), p. 193.
- ↑ Chase, Marilyn. "Sexually Transmitted Diseases Appear Sharply Underreported," The Wall Street Journal, February 13, 2002, p. B9.
- ↑ Sternberg, Steve. "Most HIV-positive males in the USA don't know it." USA TODAY, July 9, 2002, http://usatoday.com/news/healthscience/health/aids/2002-07-08-us-aids.htm
- ↑ Norton, Amy. "HIV-Positive May Delay Telling Casual Sex Partners", Reuters Health, October 30, 2001; research by Megan E. O'Brien of Tulane University, presented to the American Public Health Association.
- ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/condoms/HQ00463
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/birth-control-condoms
- ↑ http://www.contraceptivetechnology.org/table.html
- ↑ | "FDA OKs "Morning After" pill without a prescription". Retrieved 3-17-07.
- ↑ Gregory Acs, Sandi Nelson What do "I Do"s Do? Urban Institute
- ↑ Laumann, Edward O., Gagnon, John H., Michael, Robert T., Michaels, Stuart. The Social Organization Of Sexuality: Sexual Practices In The United States (University of Chicago, 1994, ISBN 0-226-46957-3), p. 364.
- ↑ de Vaus, David. Family Matters, winter 2002.
- ↑ http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm
| About This Book · Q&A (Ask a question!) · Recommended Books | |
| The Science of Relationships : | The Evolution of the Human Brain · How Women Select Men · How Men Select Women · How Our Ancestors Lived · Monogamy and Polygamy · Hormones · Communication Styles |
|---|---|
| Life Stages : | Childhood—Seeking Unconditional Love · Adolescence—Seeking Romantic Love · Adulthood—Families And Forgiveness · Agape—Altruistic Love |
| Practical Advice : | Where Couples Met · Flirting · How to Write a Personal Ad · Dating · Sex (and Why to Avoid It) · Becoming a Couple · Conflict In Relationships |
| Personality Types : | Emotional Control Systems · Zeus-Hera · Poseidon-Athena · Apollo-Artemis · Hermes-Hestia · Ares-Hephaestus-Aphrodite · Dionysus-Demeter · Hades-Persephone |
| About This Book · Q&A (Ask a question!) · Recommended Books | |
| The Science of Relationships : | The Evolution of the Human Brain · How Women Select Men · How Men Select Women · How Our Ancestors Lived · Monogamy and Polygamy · Hormones · Communication Styles |
|---|---|
| Life Stages : | Childhood—Seeking Unconditional Love · Adolescence—Seeking Romantic Love · Adulthood—Families And Forgiveness · Agape—Altruistic Love |
| Practical Advice : | Where Couples Met · Flirting · How to Write a Personal Ad · Dating · Sex (and Why to Avoid It) · Becoming a Couple · Conflict In Relationships |
| Personality Types : | Emotional Control Systems · Zeus-Hera · Poseidon-Athena · Apollo-Artemis · Hermes-Hestia · Ares-Hephaestus-Aphrodite · Dionysus-Demeter · Hades-Persephone |
