Coping with Male Pattern Baldness
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The purpose of this book is to provide support and advice for those of us who have fallen victim (or perhaps been saved) by male pattern baldness. For more information on the causes, please refer to a different source, as the aim of this work is personal acceptance.
Contents |
[edit] Why me?
Baldness can strike a man at any age. It has been reported that baldness can begin anywhere from the early teen years onward into adulthood. Of course, the earlier this happens, the more likely it will have a negative affect on the individuals self esteem and consequent social interactions. This results typically in one of a few possible courses of action.
- The person becomes depressed, and takes no action
- The person gets angry, and withdraws from social interaction
- The person becomes desperate, and invests large (or small) amounts of money in supposed baldness cures, treatments, and procedures
- The person pretends/acts like nothing has changed, and is unaffected
- The person takes steps to hide their hairloss without attempting to "cure" it.
The most common question that one facing male pattern baldness will ask himself is "Why me?". The fact is, male pattern baldness is hereditary. Other forms of hair loss however, do not fit under this category. So one has to ask themselves, are any of my relatives bald/balding? One cannot simple follow the idea that baldness comes only from the mother's father. Baldness can be inherited from a person father, grandfather, or even through the mother as a recessive gene.
[edit] Is there any hope my hair will grow back?
Pay very close attention this. There is no scientifically proven, 100% completely effective cure for baldness.
Once a hair follicle has died, it will never grow back, or begin to produce new hairs. However there are many misconceptions about baldness. For example:
- If I shave my head, the hair will grow back thicker
- Hairs grow in cycles, right now my hair follicles are in a resting phase
- I'm not balding, I'm just thinning
Lets analyze these for a moment. First, the idea that shaving your head will make your hair grow back thicker is completely false. There is absolutely no evidence to support this, nor does it make any sense on a scientific level.
Secondly, yes, hair does grow in cycles. What you need to realize is that if you are visibly balding, that means you have lost at least half of your hair. This kind of hairloss is not related to the on and off growing cycles of normal healthy hair cells. It is normally to lose hairs every day, but when this amount begins to exceed what is normal, visible hairloss will occur.
Lastly, balding and thinning are the same process. They are just different stages of progression. Some people experience a thinning of hair in certain areas of the head, whilst others will experience a complete loss of hair in certain parts. If your hair is becoming thinner, this means that your hair follicles are either dying, or becoming weak and consequently only producing tiny, often colorless hairs. Note, some people claim that in this phase, dying your hair produces the illusion of more hair. Others counterclaim that these colorless "baby hairs" are not able to retain the pigment from the dye.
As we speak, companies are currently researching a new technique that is being called "Hair Cloning", and sometimes "Hair multiplication". Until this becomes a commercially available and scientifically proven reality, this should not be considered as a realistic alternative to accepting your baldness.
[edit] Will any woman ever find me attractive?
This may come as a surprise to those of us who have just begun to lose our hair, but the answer is yes. Even if you are young, It is a 100% certainty that you can still be attractive to women. Let's consider a few reasons as to why this is:
- Women are attracted to men for reasons beyond hair only, specifically
- Intelligence
- Charisma
- Personal Style
- Social skills
- Education
- Wealth and power
- Muscle mass/Body Physique
- Eyes, voice, etc
- Baldness is a sign of masculinity and heightened testosterone
- Some women are specifically attracted to bald men
- Some women are completely unconcerned with hair, and instead focus on other traits
If you are only beginning to bald now, or have been bald for a longer period of time but have not taken action on the matter, a good piece of advice is to create an action plan. The most important purpose of an action plan is to build, maintain, and/or restore your confidence and self esteem.
The first step of your action plan is to accept yourself for who you are. You are an individual with a potential that is only limited by your personal desire. You can be, or you already are an attractive person to someone.
[edit] Say no to drugs, rugs, and plugs!
Most men that lose their hair go through a phase where they believe that they are a special case, and that they can in fact change their fate and cause their hair to stop falling out. That they are not like every other poor fool who has lost their hair. It is during this phase that the individual is most likely to invest in products which claim to repair, restore, regrow, or otherwise cure baldness completely. Lets look at a few of the more common options that claim to repair or restore hair:
- Chemicals: Rogaine, Propecia, Avacor, etc
- Supplements: Saw Palmetto
- Surgery: Hair transplant, scalp reduction, etc
- Others: Laser treatment, scalp massage, etc
Of course there is a plethora of other products and services that are targetted towards men facing male pattern baldness. But the specifics of these individual products are not important to the scope of this document and are well documented in Wikipedia articles.
Other products and services exist today which are designed to hide and conceal hair loss. Some of these options are:
- Scalp coloring products (Such as Topik)
- Hair pieces, Toupees, etc
- Artificial hair thickening sprays
The purpose of these products again is not to cure baldness, but to conceal it's existence completely with varying degrees of success. Generally speaking, no matter what you decide to do, the end result will almost always be the same. You will have lost considerable amounts of money depending on the route you choose, your body may be permanently altered in a way that limits your future options (Surgery only) and may cause bodily harm, and you will be left unsatisfied, and with lower self confidence than before.
[edit] Personal accounts
Have a story about your coping with baldness? Add it here.
[edit] My personal account
"I finally realized the extent of my thinning and receding hairline when I turned 23. I have a friend, a few years older than me, who is also balding and thinning. He would constantly bring it up and point out hairlines. I eventually became more aware of my own hairline after listening to so much of this nonsense. I decided I had to separate myself or I would become just as depressed and obsessed as he was. I did my research and came to find out only two FDA approved products are on the market; Rogaine and Propecia. As I became more desperate I started Propecia and have been on it for a few months. I figured I might as well try it and at least buy some more time. As I started reading peoples opinions and researching I discovered that women do not place as much emphasis on hair as we men typically do. In fact, I find more men look at my hairline then women. I also discovered that women would rather see a shaved head than a balding man; or at least a short cropped cut. The best thing I realized is that confidence is greater than a persons hairline. I understood that my balding was due to genetics; both sides of my family are bald. So I accepted that there was nothing I could do to ultimately stop it. I came to the realization that I had to accept that fact. I could either live in denial wearing baseball caps and spending large sums of money and time on restoration efforts. Or, I could accept that is who I was and work on building myself from the inside out rather than my hairline first. It was and is my choice. I am so thankful I understood this wisdom as soon as I did. I have sought even more so to improve my confidence then if I hadn't started to bald. I couldn't fathom being bald and having low confidence; not that I don't have my days. I plan on finishing out a year of Propecia since I've already invested the time into it. So, once you can accept baldness as a part of you then you can move on and grow. Until then, you will be stuck in delusion and depression always thinking about how your head looks. The reason why some bald men can't get women is the same reason some men with hair can't; they are self-conscious and lacking confidence. I have had more personal growth since going bald then when I had a nice hairline. I have also sought to have a sense of humor about it. It helps. My favorite joke to tell people when my shaved head comes up is "I was reading a book on hair loss but the pages kept falling out." It always gets a laugh and it makes me feel better too. I'd like to leave you with a quote from Og Mandino: "I have a choice and I will not let my life be fed to swine nor will I let it be ground under the rocks of failure and despair to be broken open and devoured by the will of others."
Bald at 17
I first noticed my hair was thinning when i was only 14 years old. i remember one day i was trying to brush my hair into the shape it always had been, and suddenly i couldn't. i remember most people my age thought it was actually pretty cool, so did i, my hairline had turned into a slight V and no one else in our school had that. i don't think anyone really knew what it REALLY was. at 16 i had my naturally platinum blonde hair worn long(about jaw length) girls loved how it contrasted my dark brown eyebrows, my hair was definitely my strong point for much of my teen years. at 17 though i remember it was becoming increasingly difficult to cover my forehead with my long hair, or even have a nice split. this is when i freaked. i finally realized just how quickly i was balding. my hairline had jumped about 2 full inches at the peak and at the tops of the V like 3inches. i went crazy, i started pleading with my parents to buy me expensive hair pills and shampoos and oils. i went through propecia, provillus, nioxin, rogaine (all kinds) and different indian oils and shampoos that i can't even remember. none of it was working and the oils and rogaine made my hair look much thinner than it should have. also all this stuff irritated my scalp setting me in pain every time a hair moved. i despaired. i would be late for school by hours because that day i could NOT leave the bathroom from being unable to conceal my hairline. i had always been promised such a bright future with girls. my platinum blonde hair and my thick dark brown eyebrows and other facial features had always given me such confidence over my peers and adults had always praised me. i felt that all melt away so suddenly and i felt like i had no control over it. my senior year went by like this, me depressed and wishing just to hide away, i refused to date pretty girls because of my own insecurity. i figured as soon as they saw my hairline they would change their minds. people at school began to notice my hair, they joked that i was on chemo or i had a disease. they took picture of it blowing back in the wind. one boy would block my hair with one hand and say "teenager" than he would block my face and expose my hair only and say "vice principal". I never realized i still had beautiful young girls chasing after me. I was to absorbed in what everyone else was saying about me. it really wasn't fair i thought, i always took care of myself. i could do 17 pullups, i had a well defined six pack, why should i be plagued with this?
Then something happened.... i broke. i stood in my bathroom for 7 hours just looking... and thinking. how much time had i put into this? how much of my precious youth had i wasted despairing over my head? MY junior and senior year i spent alone, afraid of others who had full heads of hair. i had absorbed myself in my own fear. i was nothing but a balding head, walking around afraid of the next gust of wind, or the next person to run their fingers in my hair saying "i've never seen such blonde hair".
i came out of my bathroom, went upstairs, grabbed the dog hair groomer, went back down to my bathroom, and SHAVED MY HEAD. i then finished shaving it with my razor. i no longer had anything to fear as i was at my worst. i found the back of my head had a slight ridge and was not smooth, but i didn't care. i was free. FREE. i no longer needed 2 hours to get ready for anything, i no longer needed to spend hundred of dollars a month on hair care products. i no longer needed to fear the wind or other people. i was FREE. People were shocked i had done such a thing, but these people mocked me for my hair before. why should these insults be any different.
i am now 19 and happier than ever. I wear my hair at about 1 inch long and shave it down to 3/4 inch every few weeks. i am obviously balding but i am not hiding it. i comb my hair up instead of down, i ROCK my baldness. i have a beautiful philipino/japanese girlfriend who does not see my lack of hair. i am at this point more bald than i have hair, it is the most advanced case of MPB i have ever seen on a man my age. but it doesn't effect me anymore. that is who i am. now i win rock climbing competitions, i get As in college, i dance like a champ, i spin pies at a pizzeria and i LIVE HAPPY and CONFIDENT. No one is as secure as i am. WHY? because i have already gone through the worst and i came out on top.
