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Emotional Intelligence[edit | edit source]

EQ 5 traits

Definition[edit | edit source]

The capacity to recognize, use, and regulate your own emotions in order to reduce stress, communicate clearly, sympathize with others, overcome obstacles, and diffuse conflict is known as emotional intelligence (EQ). You can develop stronger relationships, perform well at work and school, and reach your professional and personal objectives with the aid of emotional intelligence. Additionally, it can assist you in establishing a connection with your emotions, putting your intentions into practice, and choosing what is most important to you.

Roots of Emotional Intelligence[edit | edit source]

The term "emotional intelligence" was first used in 1990 by Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer, who defined it as "a form of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use this information to guide one's thinking and action."

Additionally, Salovey and Mayer started a study to create reliable emotional intelligence tests and investigate its relevance. For instance, they discovered in one study that when a group of people saw a distressing movie, those who scored highly on emotional clarity—the capacity to recognize and categorize an experienced mood—recovered more quickly. In a different study, people who were better in accurately perceiving, comprehending, and appraising others' emotions were also better at adapting to changes in their social environments and creating supportive social networks.

Salovey and Mayer's work came to Daniel Goleman's attention in the 1990s, which ultimately inspired him to write his book Emotional Intelligence. Goleman specialized in writing on brain and behavior studies for the New York Times. He received his training in psychology at Harvard, where he also collaborated with David McClelland. McClelland was one of a rising number of scholars who were troubled by how little information was provided by conventional assessments of cognitive intelligence about what it takes to succeed in life.

Goleman claimed that emotional intelligence, not cognitive intelligence, was the key to commercial success. He identified four traits in emotionally intelligent individuals:

  • They had an excellent grasp of their own feelings (self-awareness)
  • They were adept at controlling their feelings (self-management)
  • They had empathy for other people's emotional motivations (social awareness)
  • They were adept at managing the feelings of others (social skills)

Components as four key skills[edit | edit source]

Your capacity to comprehend and control your emotions is referred to as emotional intelligence. These qualities are connected to a variety of advantages, such as academic success, decision-making skills, and general success in life. According to some scientists, emotional intelligence, or EQ, may even be more significant than intelligence quotient.

Emotional Intelligence

Self-awareness[edit | edit source]

One of the most important traits of emotional intelligence is self-awareness, or the capacity to perceive and comprehend your own feelings. Being conscious of the impact of your actions, moods, and emotions on other people goes beyond simply being conscious of your own feelings.

You must be able to keep track of your own emotions, recognize various emotional reactions, and then correctly name each individual feeling if you want to develop self-awareness. People who are self-aware understand the connections between their feelings and behaviors.

Additionally, these people are aware of their own advantages and disadvantages, are receptive to new ideas and experiences, and take lessons from their interactions with others. According to Goleman, those who are self-aware have a good sense of humor, self-assurance in their skills, and knowledge of how others view them.

Self-regulation[edit | edit source]

Emotional intelligence calls for you to be able to control and manage your emotions in addition to being conscious of your own feelings and how they affect others.

This merely entails waiting for the appropriate situation and moment to express your emotions rather than putting your emotions on lockdown and keeping your genuine feelings hidden. The key to self-regulation is knowing how to articulate your feelings.

Self-regulation experts typically have a flexible personality and do well with change. Additionally, they excel in handling disputes and calming tense or challenging circumstances.

Strong self-control abilities are often accompanied by high conscientiousness. They take accountability for their own acts and are sensitive of how their influence may affect others.

Social skill[edit | edit source]

Another crucial component of emotional intelligence is interpersonal competence.4 People who are socially adept are better able to form lasting friendships and have a deeper comprehension of both the self and others.

Understanding emotions on a deeper level than only your own and others' is necessary for emotional intelligence. Additionally, you must be able to use this knowledge in your regular interactions and conversations.

Building ties and relationships with employees helps managers in professional contexts. Being able to establish a great rapport with managers and fellow employees benefits employees. Active listening, verbal and nonverbal communication abilities, leadership, and persuasiveness are all crucial social skills.

Empathy[edit | edit source]

Understanding other people's emotions, or having empathy, is essential to having emotional intelligence. But it entails more than simply being able to identify other people's emotional states.

It also entails how you react to other individuals in light of this knowledge. How do you react when you notice someone is depressed or hopeless? You may show them more consideration and kindness, or you could try to lift their spirits.

Being sympathetic also enables you to comprehend the power dynamics that frequently affect interpersonal interactions, particularly at work. This is crucial for directing how you engage with the various people you see every day.

People who are skilled in this can tell who is in control in various partnerships. Additionally, they comprehend how these factors affect attitudes and actions. They can therefore appropriately assess a variety of scenarios that depend on such power dynamics.

Motivation[edit | edit source]

Another critical trait of emotional intelligence is intrinsic motivation. Emotionally intelligent people are driven by factors other than material rewards like fame, money, recognition, and acclaim. 5

Instead, they are passionate about achieving their own internal demands and objectives. They crave peak experiences, look for internal rewards, and feel flow when they are completely immersed in an activity.

Competent people in this field are frequently action-oriented. They create objectives, have a strong drive for success, and are constantly seeking for ways to improve. Additionally, they frequently exhibit high levels of commitment and initiative.

Why Emotional Intelligence is important[edit | edit source]

Humans are social beings; we desire connection. Our lives may be more enriched if we can create more wholesome connections and cooperative interactions.

Unsurprisingly, studies have revealed a link between happiness and greater EQ.

However, EQ can still support us in those times as well.

According to study, adolescents who exhibit strong emotional intelligence, particularly in the areas of emotional control and empathy, may be less likely to encounter bullying in a classroom context.

Work is another illustration. According to research from 2013, having a strong EQ can help you accomplish the objectives of your company and boost your job happiness, in part because it fosters great interactions at work.

Strong emotional intelligence abilities can improve a person's life in a variety of ways. People with these talents always seem to maintain their composure. Even the most uncomfortable social situations can be handled by them with grace. And they consistently seem to put other people at ease.

Main advantages of EI[edit | edit source]

Among the main advantages of having strong emotional intelligence abilities are improved:

  • Leadership: You can be a more effective leader by having emotional intelligence.
  • Communication: You can communicate more effectively with others if you are aware of their feelings.
  • Knowledge of oneself: Gaining a deeper understanding of oneself requires being more conscious of one's feelings.
  • Self-control: You can improve your capacity for self-control by becoming conscious of your emotions.
  • Stress management: You can exert more control in situations characterized by stress or conflict if you can properly regulate your emotions.

How to increase Emotional Intelligence[edit | edit source]

Tapping into your own emotions[edit | edit source]

Take note of how you feel as the day proceeds. It's simple to ignore how you're feeling about the things that happen to you throughout the day. But acknowledging your feelings regarding situations is crucial to raising your EQ. Neglecting your emotions is ignoring crucial information that has a significant impact on your mentality and behavior. Increase your awareness of your emotions and start relating them to experiences.

Consider the scenario where you are at work and are interrupted during a meeting. What feelings come up when this occurs? How do you feel when you receive applause for a job well done, on the other hand? Your EQ will start to increase as soon as you start naming your emotions as melancholy, shame, joy, contentment, or any other number of sentiments.

Make it a practice to connect with your emotions at specific times each day. What feelings come to mind when you wake up? Your final before you snooze?

Be attentive to your body. Start paying attention to your emotions' outward manifestations rather than dismissing them. Our body and minds interact quite deeply; they are not separate from one another. By developing your ability to recognize physical clues that reveal your emotions, you can improve your emotional intelligence (EQ). For instance:

Your chest may feel constricted or your breathing may become rapid when you are stressed.

Sadness can resemble waking up with sluggish, weighted limbs.

You might have butterflies in your stomach, a racing heart, or a boost in energy when you're happy, pleased, or scared.

Observe how your emotions and behavior are connected. What do you do when you have intense emotions? Instead of simply reacting without thought to the events you encounter every day, pay attention to your gut reaction. Your EQ will increase as you get more insight into what drives your behavioral impulses, and you'll be better equipped to apply what you learn to really alter your behavior going forward. Here are some illustrations of actions and the motivations behind them:

You might unplug from conversations if you're feeling self-conscious or insecure.

When you're angry, you might shout louder or stomp away indignantly.

You can become anxious, forget what you were doing, or start crying while you're feeling overpowered.

Avoid criticizing your own feelings. Even the negative emotions you experience are legitimate. It will be more difficult to use your emotions positively if you judge them since doing so will prevent you from feeling everything that you are feeling. Consider it this way: Each feeling you experience provides new, insightful knowledge about a situation in your life. Without this knowledge, you wouldn't know how to respond in a suitable manner. Because of this, the capacity for feeling is a sort of intellect.

It's challenging at first, but work on allowing unfavorable feelings to emerge and tying them to the events. What, for instance, does the feeling of resentful envy reveal about your circumstance?

Feel all of your good feelings, too. To understand how to experience joy and satisfaction more frequently, relate them to the events taking place around you.

Notice the patterns in your emotional past. It's an additional strategy for discovering as much as you can about your own emotions and how they relate to your past experiences. When feeling a powerful emotion, consider the last time you experienced it. What occurred prior to, during, and following?

You may exert more control over your behavior once you start noticing patterns. Consider your previous approach to a circumstance and your preferred approach for the future.

So that you can clearly understand how you typically react, keep a journal of your emotional responses or how you feel during the day.

Practice determining your behavior. You cannot control your emotions, but you can choose how to respond to them. If you struggle with becoming angry or withdrawing when you're hurt, consider how you'd want to respond. Make a plan for the next time your feelings become overwhelming so that you don't let them control you.

Take some time to acknowledge your feelings when anything bad occurs in your life. Some said that they felt a wave of despair or rage come over them. After the initial wave has subsided, decide how you wish to act. Instead of suppressing your emotions, choose to express them, or choose to try again rather than give up.

Avoid engaging in escape mechanisms. It's difficult to allow negative emotions to fully surface, so many individuals suppress them by abusing substances, binge-watching TV, or engaging in other painful-numbing behaviors. If you keep doing this, eventually your EQ will start to decline.

Feel all of your good feelings, too. In order to learn how to experience that happiness or satisfaction more frequently, link it to the events taking place around you.

Connecting with other people[edit | edit source]

Be flexible and accommodative. Emotional intelligence is correlated with both openness and agreeableness. A smaller EQ is typically a sign of a restricted thinking. It is simpler to handle disagreements in a calm and confident manner when your mind is open as a result of comprehension and introspection. You'll become more socially conscious, and new opportunities will become available to you. Consider the following to improve this aspect of your EQ:

watching or listening to arguments on radio or television. Think about the arguments from all sides, and search for any nuances that call for more in-depth analysis.

Consider the reasons behind someone's differing emotional response from your own and make an effort to understand it from their perspective.

Develop your capacity for empathy. Understanding and sharing other people's feelings is what it means to be empathetic. [4] You can learn more about how people are feeling by being a more attentive and engaged listener to what they are saying. Emotional intelligence is demonstrated when you can apply such knowledge to guide your decisions and strengthen your interpersonal connections.

Put yourself in other people's shoes to increase empathy. Consider your feelings if you were in their shoes. Actively consider what it must be like to go through the experiences they are, as well as what assistance and care might be able to do to lessen some of their suffering.

Ask yourself, "How would I behave in the similar situation?" whenever you observe someone displaying a strong emotion.

Take an authentic interest in what others are saying so that you can respond with tact. Ask questions and briefly recap what they say to make it seem that you are participating in the conversation rather than letting your mind wander.

Study the body language of others. Make it a point to pay attention to people's facial expressions and other body language in order to discern their actual feelings. People frequently say one thing, but their facial expressions often indicate a deeper truth. Improve your observational skills by learning to recognize the less obvious ways that individuals express their emotions.

Try taking a quiz to test your ability to read facial emotions if you're not sure. Someone who speaks with a higher tone of voice is under stress.

Watch the impact you have on other people. When it comes to EQ, knowing how other people feel is only half the battle; you also need to be aware of how you affect other people. Do you have a tendency to make people jittery, happy, or angry? When you enter the room, what happens to the conversation?

Consider any patterns that might need to be altered. You may need to alter your attitude if you frequently get into arguments with family members, your partner frequently tears up during chats, or other people tend to become more reserved around you.

Find out from close friends or family members what they think about your emotionality and where you may improve.

The way someone speaks might also have an effect. They can assist you if you have problems realizing how you affect other people.

Make an effort to be emotionally open. You are not speaking honestly if you scowl as you declare you're "fine." Improve your ability to express your emotions physically so that others can read you better. Inform them of your concerns, as well as your excitement and happiness.

Being "yourself" makes it easier for others to get to know you, and if they can relate to your perspective, they will be more inclined to trust you.

However, be aware that there is a limit; manage your feelings to avoid hurting others.

Emotional Intelligence in Leadership[edit | edit source]

The culture of the workplace is directly influenced by the boss. Studies have revealed the influence of the leader on the actions of the workforce. The extent to which managers and leaders have a good impact on workers and organizational functions, however, remains a crucial subject. Organizational factors that are connected are shown in Figure 1. Emotional intelligence is influenced by each of these variables. Leadership is significantly influenced by the HR activities of managerial performance, training and development, and recruitment and selection. The leadership directly affects how well HR services perform in terms of aiding organizational members in raising their EI.

A high level of EI facilitates the identification of abilities, the appropriate delegation of roles, and the peaceful resolution of conflict. The qualities listed below are part of the EI mechanism:

Perception of others' feelings: Accurate social perception enables people to learn a great deal about the attitudes, objectives, and passions of other group members. This knowledge should allow people to exert influence by figuring out, comprehending, and meeting other group members' unspoken needs and developing goals that might be accepted.

Understanding how others are feeling: Members in EI groups may function better if they have an understanding of others' emotions. In order to complete the group task, which in turn affects group performance, it is helpful to be able to control one's emotions according to the needs of the group.

Manage emotions: By effectively managing one's emotions, a group member can influence the group by altering how other members feel about certain courses of action. These influencers use their own prior knowledge to their advantage.

Resources[edit | edit source]

Mayer, J.D., Salovey, P. (1997). What is emotional intelligence? In Salovey, P., Sluyter, D. (Eds.), Emotional development and emotional intelligence: Educational implications (pp. 3–31). New York: Basic Books.

Mayer, J.D., Salovey, P., Caruso, D.R., Sitarenios, G. (2003). Measuring emotional intelligence with the MSCEIT V 2.0. Emotion, 3, 97–105.

Lopes, P.N., Brackett, M.A., Nezlek, J.B., Schütz, A., Sellin, I., Salovey, P. (2004). Emotional intelligence and social interaction. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30, 1018–1034.

Emotional Intelligence in Leadership. https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_45.htm#:~:text=Emotional%20intelligence%20or%20EI%20is,emotions%20can%20affect%20other%20people.

Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ). https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-eq.htm

What to know about emotional intelligence https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/components-of-emotional-intelligence

How to Develop Emotional Intelligence. https://www.wikihow.com/Develop-Emotional-Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence: Why We Need It Now, More Than Ever. https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2020/12/01/emotional-intelligence-why-we-need-it-now-more-than-ever/?sh=112c8ab73df3