User:Butterfliesinthesky/sandbox

Summary

The memoir "In the Dream House" by Carmen Maria Machado dives into the author's experiences in an abusive same-sex partnership. The memoir's "Dream House as Choose Your Own Adventure" chapter is a particularly inventive and distinctive section in which Machado used the structure of a choose-your-own-adventure tale to describe the difficulties of her relationship. Using an interactive storytelling method popular in choose-your-own-adventure novels, Machado gives the reader choices that affect the plot's course in this chapter. But rather than producing the usual adventurous endings, Machado's narrative's choices mirror the tough choices and the pain she endured in her abusive relationship.

Forms Of Verbal Abuse

Here are some forms of verbal abuse so we can all be aware of in our relationships romantic and or platonic.

• Bullying – "The use of physical, psychological and verbal aggression to intimidate others to submit to the will of another and/or cause emotional upset. Bullying is typically one-sided and unprovoked by the victim and can be present in any environment.
• Gaslighting – The abuser causes the victim to doubt both their own sanity and identity. Gaslighting is a tactic used by abusers to induce their victims to doubt their own senses of reality by asking probing questions. People who experience gaslighting may perceive themselves as outsiders, have low self-esteem, and believe they are not supported in making decisions.
• Accusations/Denial of wrongdoing: When an individual falsely accuses another individual of performing a certain action; When an individual denies his/her actions performed against another individual that could have or did cause the victim harm to self-preserve and protect the abuser. (Gaslighting also fits into this type of abuse).
• Minimization – Refers to when the abuser is attempting to down-scale the severity of the situation and making it seem insignificant to the victim or audience
• Threatening – When an aggressor uses words or actions against a victim that indicates if the victim does not comply with certain situations and/or actions, harm will be inflicted upon them.
• Name calling – The use of offensive language/names to gain something from the situation (ex: win an argument) or to probe a negative reaction out of another individual or situation; this is also used to induce rejection or condemnation without consideration of the facts in the situation.

Examples in the text where these forms of verbal abuse are demonstrated

• Now this quote has a mix of Bullying and Accusations/Denial of wrongdoing "Page 11. The first time it happened the first time she yelled at you so much you were crying within 30 seconds from waking, a record. She said, ‘the first 10 minutes of the day i'm not responsible for anything I say’. Yelling at someone till they cry screams middle school bullies. This behavior coming from a partner is heartbreaking in any situation.

• Minimization - In this example It’s night time and the partner wants to get intimate yet it isn't consensual and it is painful to endure “ You shudder and moan with precision. She turns off the lights. You watch the darkness until the darkness leaves you, or you leave it.”  Reading this becomes painful and to think about what Machado went through in this abusive relationship her voice was not heard in the relationship at all. It was a constant cycle of trying to climb up for air and just drowning all over again.

• Threatening – “Page 13. You shouldn't be here, but it's OK. It's a dream. She can't find you here.” Throughout the entirety of the narrative there's not an explicit example of a threatening moment but the simple fact she feels safer in her dreams than in real life with her partner shows the danger she's experiencing  in the relationship. Just being in the relationship living together as a whole is the threat.

• Name calling - On the 2nd page of the narrative the couple gets into an argument about an uncomfortable night's rest together in their bed. The partner proceeds to call the narrator “a f*cking c*nt” and claims she never takes responsibility for anything and continues to curse her out. Over having their elbows touching her partner in bed while she's asleep, it's something she cannot control.

Resources for Rape Victims

Unfortunately this isn’t just a made up story many people go through this in their day to day if you or someone you know is a victim of sexual assault, it's important to seek immediate medical attention as soon as possible. A healthcare provider can address immediate health concerns, conduct a forensic exam (often referred to as a "rape kit"), and provide information about potential risks and preventive measures. After that it is beneficial to reach out for support. In the United States, the National Sexual Assault Hotline provides confidential and anonymous help. Here is the information for the National Sexual Assault Hotline:

United States: National Sexual Assault Hotline

• Website: National Sexual Assault Hotline

• Phone: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

This hotline is operated by RAINN rainn.org/resources, (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network), and it provides free, confidential support 24/7. Trained staff can offer assistance, resources, and information to survivors of sexual assault.

If you are located outside the United States, consider searching for a local sexual assault hotline or contacting a local crisis center or women's shelter. Many countries have dedicated hotlines and support services for sexual assault survivors. Local law enforcement and healthcare providers may also be able to provide guidance on available resources in your area. Remember, seeking help is an important step towards healing, and there are people and organizations ready to support you.