History of Western Theatre: 17th Century to Now/Boulevard of the 20th
In boulevard theatre, Georges Feydeau (1862-1922) continued his popular series of plays, notably "Une puce à l'oreille" (A flea in her ear, 1907). He may still be considered dominant in the 20th century, bitingly satirical and with elements of cruelty most of the genre lack. The most important figure in the 1915-1945 span is Sacha Guitry (1885-1957), with comedy-dramas such as "Deburau" (1918) and "Le nouveau testament" (The new testament, 1934). "Deburau" concerns the life of Jean-Gaspard-Baptiste Deburau, a 19th century pantomime under the stage-name of Baptiste. "The new testament" concerns what happens when a man's coat is found with his testament in one pocket, so that he is falsely declared to be dead. Other comic playwrights rising to the fore include Tristan Bernard (1866-1947) for his satire on boss-employee relations, "Le petit café" (The small cafe, 1911), Jules Romains (1885-1972) for his medical satire, "Knock" (1923), Jacques Deval (1890-1972) for his immigration satire, "Tovarich" (1933), Marcel Achard (1899-1974) for his satire on boyhood friendship, "Patate" (Potato, 1957), and Gaston Arman de Caillavet (1869-1915), Robert de Flers (1872-1927), and Emmanuel Arène (1856-1908) for the political satire, "Le roi" (The king, 1908).
More modern and equally popular farces include "Boeing Boeing" (1960) by Marc Camoletti (1923–2003), "La cage aux folles" (The faggot cage, 1973) by Jean Poiret (1926-1992), and "Le dîner de cons" (The dinner game, more precisely The idiots' dinner, 1993) by Francis Veber (1937-?)..
Boulevard drama is provided by Marcel Pagnol's (1895-1974) "Marius" (1929). Edouard Bourdet (1887-1945) contributed a strong drama with "Vient de paraître" (Hot off the press, 1927) about the seedy side of fiction writing. Likewise, Marcel Aymé in "La tête des autres" (Other people's heads, 1952) presented the seedy side of criminal investigations. Boulevard grimness achieves a sort of peak with Henri Bernstein (1876-1953)'s "Samson" (1907), when an investor dilapidates his fortune because of a woman. Although no typical boulevard author, Jean Cocteau (1889-1963) contributed one important play of the genre: "Les parents terribles" (Intimate relations, more precisely The terrible parents, 1938).
"A flea in her ear"
"A flea in her ear". Time: 1900s. Place: Paris, France.
"A flea in her ear" text at
As a result of her husband's impotence towards her, Raymonde Chandebise suspects him of having adulterous relations. To test that idea, with the help of her friend, Lucienne, she composes a letter from an unknown woman for a lover's rendezvous with him at the Minaret Galant. Chandebise cannot believe the letter is meant for him, but rather for his friend, Tournel. Chandebise shows the letter to Lucienne's husband, Homenidès. "Caramba!" he cries, "My wife's writing!" He warns Tournel not to go there, but yet he does. When Raymonde arrives at the Minaret Galant, she asks for Chandebise's reserved room, as does Tournel when he arrives. While sitting on the bed, he draws the curtain as Raymond enters hastily from the changing room. She slaps his face before recognizing him. Unabashed, Tournel seeks to take advantage of the situation. Raymonde hesitates and presses unthinkingly on a button which turns their bed around through the wall while the bed in the next room revolves into theirs, a bed occupied by an old man, Baptistin, who complains of rheumatism. The revolving beds serve as a front in case police officers appear. In fear of the old man, Raymonde rushes out of the room and heads downstairs, then runs upstairs four steps at a time when after seeing her husband disguised as a servant. She precipitously enters a room with an open door, occupied by a lusting Englishman named Rugby. She comes back out struggling to get away from him, intent on slapping his face which Tournel, trying to help her, receives in his place. Seeing Baptistin still there in their room and hoping to rid themselves of him, Tournel presses the button, after which a servant named Poche is seen on the revolving bed, wearing the same costume as her husband and closely resembling him in feature. In fear, Tournel cries out: "My friend, my friend, don't believe what you see." "Pity! Pity! Don't condemn until you hear me," Raymonde cries out. Both fall at his feet and beg to be beaten, but get no response. "Anything is better than that frightening calm," says Raymonde. When he appears ready to forgive, Raymonde asks for a kiss, as does Turnel. Meanwhile, informed about the letter, Chandebise's nephew, Camille, arrives and asks for his usual room under the assumed name of Chandebise. Seeing Poche, he also mistakes him for Chandebise and, to avoid him, runs quickly inside the first room he sees, Rugby's again. To rid themselves of Baptistin a second time, Raymonde presses the bed button and this time beholds Camille on the revolving bed. Raymonde and Tournel run away from him, but are forced to run back up again after seeing Etienne, her servant, on the stairs, who warns her that Chandebise knows everything. Incensed at being invaded by a stranger, Rugby pushes Camille out of his room and hits him on the mouth. The blow causes him to lose sight of the speaking apparatus he needs to be understood. Etienne knocks and enters inside Rugby's room, where he discovers his wife in bed with an unknown man. Mistaking him for Chandebise, Etienne stops Poche in the corridor and complains about being a cuckold. Lucienne arrives on the scene, followed shortly after by Chandebise, who admits having shown her letter to Homenidès. They run downstairs but run back up again on seeing Homenidès with a revolver in his hand. Chandebise is pushed out of his room by Rugby and confronted with the hotel manager, Ferraillon, who, mistaking him for his servant, Poche, verbally and physically abuses him. After being pummeled, Chandebise sees his wife accompanied by Tournel. He angrily seizes him by the throat until Ferraillon comes back to berate him again as Turnel makes his escape. The worried Homenidès forces his way inside Camille's room and accidently turns the bed button. On the revolving bed, Lucienne and Poche appear, both disappearing after seeing the revolver in her husband's hand. Later, at Chandebise's house, Poche asks Raymonde whether he can see her husband. Still mistaking him for Chandebise, she, Tournel, and Lucienne all believe the man to be mad or drunk. Poche is taken away to sleep in Chandebise's bathrobe as Chandebise himself rarrives, asking Tournel once more the reason why he found him with his wife at the hotel. Disgusted at these confusions, he chases them away. Ferraillon enters to give back Camille's speaking apparatus. Mistaking him again for Poche, Ferraillon heaps further abuses on him. Chandebise disappears only to find the threatening Homenidès, when once again he makes his escape. When Homenidès finds a copy of the letter among Raymonde's papers and asks her the meaning of this, the question is finally resolved by his wife. A stunned Chandebise returns to say he saw his own person in his bed while Ferraillon returns to berate him again until Raymonde reveals he is her husband, all this trouble because her husband's impotence had put a flea in her ear.
"The new testament"
"The new testament". Time: 1934. Place: Paris, France.
"The new testament" text at ?
After finding a new position for his secretary, John, a doctor, must find another one to replace her. His wife, Lucy, suggests Fernando, son to a friend of his, Adrian, a radiologist, but he hires instead Juliette, whom Lucy immediately detests to the extent of provoking her in the hope that she will lose her place. John is late to dinner at his house on a night when Adrian and his wife, Margaret, are invited. A messenger leaves behind a coat, inside which a worried Lucy discovers an envelope addressed to her husband's notary as well as his last will and testament. She faints. According to this new will, Lucy gets only one third of his fortune, the other parts going to Madeleine and Juliette Courtois, two women whom she has never heard of, one of them his mistress, the other his mistress' daughter. She guesses that the Juliette in question is the same woman as the secretary her husband just hired. Lucy is all the more upset on reading the written date: 25 April 1934, thinking her husband probably committed suicide on this very day. In addition, the will also mentions "a son, who, without knowing it, avenges his father's honor," by which she finds out that her husband knew about her own adulterous relation with Fernando. It is Margaret's turn to faint when her adultery with John from 25 years ago is mentioned. Unexpectedly, John enters amid the distraught group and finds his coat left by mistake at his tailor's, but without the envelope, hidden underneath Lucy's dress. The following morning, John learns from Margaret, veiled like a widow for the sake of secrecy, the entire story of last evening's events. Despite the awkwardness of the discovery, Margaret says that their relation together was "the only agreeable moment of my existence". John does not reveal to her whether Juliette is his mistress, or else her daughter, neither does he say to Juliette who her father is, but she guesses it is he himself. Later, Lucy, joined again with their friends, sees the butler wearing John's coat, a sign which prompts her to think her husband has committed suicide. But once again he enters in great shape, revealing that he has decided to take part in a foreign delegation of doctors and to take Juliette along with him as his secretary. Lucy looks at Fernando, for them a good opportunity to continue their relation, she considering that to cheat in love "is to wish for happiness." Before going away, John lets her know that Juliette is indeed his daughter.
"Deburau". Time: 1830s and 1840s. Place: Paris, France.
"Deburau" text at http://www.archive.org/details/deburauacomedya00grangoog
Jean-Gaspard Deburau is a successful pantomime at the Funambules Theatre under the stage name of Baptiste. There is a bouquet of carnations for him, sent by one of his fans. A lady arrives to take him away from the theatre and speak with him, but, after he takes out his wife's picture, she abandons the plan. A second woman arrives, roped with diamonds and a camelia on her belt, Marie Duplessis, a noted courtesan. To her, he does not show his wife's picture, but she is not the one who sent him flowers. It is the employee at the cashier's desk, pining for him uselessly. Deburau is taken with Marie. "I adored the sun," he says, "I like today the rain as well as the sun." Deburau is constrained in an unhappy marriage and, were that possible, wishes to marry Marie instead, his lady of the camelias. She answers yes because it is impossible. After he leaves, Marie admits to a conjurer friend of hers that she loved Deburau for a day or so. His wife having left him, he joyfully returns with his ten-year-old son, a dog, and a bird-cage at the very moment she is already in the arms of a new-found love, Armand Duval, yet he expects to see her again. Seven years later, Deburau is still expecting Marie to come back to him. His son, Charles, confesses he would like to become a mime like his father. He disagrees with that career choice, emphasizing the difficulty inherent in making a living out of that art, encouraging him to be an actor at worst. Surprisingly, Marie returns, the result of a friend's intervention on his behalf since he leads such a hermit's life and appears to be sick. When he discovers she came only to look after his health, he loses interest in her. A doctor arrives to encourage him to take up various hobbies. Reading? "I prefer death without words," he retorts. At last, he decides to return to the stage, but, older now, he is unsuccessful. As he is about to speak to his disgruntled public, he finds he is unable to. He kisses them goodbye instead. The curtain closes him on him sadly and slow. The last curtain fell on him like the guillotine, "for a soldier, it is the flag that one throws on his coffin," he says. The theatre director must replace him with a journeyman. Deburau has a better idea: put Charles on, whom he coaches on the spot.
"The small cafe"
"The small cafe". Time: 1910s. Place: France.
"The small cafe" text at ?
Albert grew up as a servant on the castle grounds of the count of Caspion, who suddenly died while travelling around the globe. With no money left to pay for his upkeep, he was let go and found a position as a waiter in a small cafe. His girlfriend, Edwige, a popular singer, prefers for the moment not to marry him out of fear that he would choose to live at her expense. One day, Albert's boss, Philibert, learns from his friend, Bigredon, that the count of Caspion's will has been found, stipulating that a huge sum of money (800,000 francs) is left to Albert. Bigredon suggests that he seize the opportunity by binding Albert to a 20-year contract at 5,000 francs per year with a codicil stating that whoever breaks the contract will be forced to pay to the other party 200,000 francs, probably Albert, likely to be unwilling to remain at work after learning of his inheritance. Philibert pretends to be reluctant but then accepts. As anticipated, Albert signs the contract. But after being informed of his inheritance, he unexpectedly refuses to hand over the 200,000 francs. Instead, he tries to provoke his boss into dismissing him by refusing to obey his orders. However, Albert's colleague, a dishwasher, learns that Philibert will bring with him a court-servant as a witness to his employee's irresponsible behavior and so have him dismissed by legal means. On being told of Philibert's plan, Albert resumes his polite and docile demeanor. Now rich, whenever his work-day is over, he often treats his other girl-friend, Bérangère, a courtesan, to expensive restaurants. One evening, Edwige is hired as an entertainer in one such restaurant. Unaware of his new-found wealth, she is startled to discover Albert's presence. To avoid her finding about his wealth and Bérangère's existence, he pretends to have found a second job as a waiter there. Likewise, Bérangère is startled and then angry at his refusal to sit with her and her friends at their table. Eventually, Edwige sees Bérangère caressing her lover's hair, and so the two women fight. When a customer, Gastonnet, gets in Edwige's way, she pretends to have been stuck by him. "If you do not slap him," she tells Albert, "you are the greatest of louts." "Sir, consider yourself slapped," Albert declares. They agree to fight in a duel but Albert is arrested for disturbing the peace. After getting out of jail, he heads back at the cafe, where the head of the waiter's union, intending to show the woes of that profession to a journalist, is unpleasantly surprised to hear about Albert's expensive habits, leaving in disgust. A general is summoned by Gastonnet's friend to organize the duel, but after learning that Albert is a mere waiter, he too leaves in disgust. Finally, Philibert is disgusted at the entire situation and dismisses Albert. However, to his surprise, Albert once more refuses as a result of discovering Philibert's daughter loves him. The father approves.
"Knock". Time: 1920s. Place: France.
"Knock" text at ?
Dr Parpalaid is leaving a small town to practice medicine in a larger city, handing over his patients to Dr Knock, dismayed to learn how rarely the townspeople consult their physician. He first presented this viewpoint in his medical thesis, emphasizing that "healthy people are the sick who ignore their true state." He began to practice medicine without the required degree as a ship doctor and, soon successful, is determined to succeed here as well. His first new idea is to advertise free consultations once a week by the town crier, who mentions in passing how his throat is bothering him. Dr Knock asks him to specify whether it is a tickling sensation or a scratching sensation and further asks even more perplexing questions, so that the patient wonders whether he should go to bed at once, but the doctor assures him that he can wait till evening. He asks to see a schoolteacher and is astonished to learn that he and Dr Parpalaid were not in the habit of warning people about the multitudinous dangers inherent in not consulting their doctor regularly. Knock explains the many functions that can go wrong inside the body and is confident that with the teacher's help the townspeople will be unable to sleep at night. Knock then informs the local pharmacist that his revenues are likely to increase. The pharmacist is dubious, since, to require his services, a man must first become sick, an old-fashioned viewpoint according to Knock. "For my part," Knock says, "I know only people more or less stricken with illnesses more or less plentiful progressing at a more or less rapid rate." His first patient is a woman complaining of constipation. After briefly examining her and although she does not remember it, he concludes that she fell from a ladder "about three meters and a half high, against a wall." "You fell backwards," he specifies, "luckily on the left buttock." He recommends no solid food for one week, warning her that the treatment is likely to be costly. His second patient is a woman complaining of insomnia. He convinces her of the seriousness of her condition, explaining in detail the many malformations of the nervous system that can occur in such cases, until she is ready to submit to any treatment if only he can save her. In such a manner, Knock's private practice, to the pharmacist's content, grows enormously. He waxes lyrical in contemplating the lights on at night of his many anxious patients. "The canton cedes her place to a sort of firmament, of which I am the continual creator," he enthuses. Learning of this surprising turn of events, Dr Parpalaid offers him to exchange his present practice with the old one, but Knock refuses, although fully cognizant that his talents must eventually reach a broader stage. A tired-looking Parpalaid wonders whether Knock was joking in insinuating that he appears to need a day of rest. Knock answers that they can see about that later, but this is said in such a tone that Parpalaid starts to worry about his present state of health.
Time: 1930s. Place: Paris, France.
"Tovarich" text at ?
Mikail and Tatania, escaped prince and princess respectively in the aftermatch of the 1917 Russian revolution, have difficulty in meeting ends meet in a Paris hotel. The former prince refuses to yield an immense sum of money given to him by the former czar to the heir to the throne. "What a crowned czar gave me, I will return to a crowned czar," he declares. The couple are driven to accept employment as servants in the house of a banker, Charles Arbeziat, and his wife, Fernande. To Charles, the ideal servant is characterized by "punctuality, silence, deference." To his surprise, he is extremely pleased at the kind of service Mikail renders, but is taken aback at his manner of thanks: a kiss on the shoulder in the old Russian manner. To help her mistress who had bought for herself some expensive hats, Tatiana sends away the employee waiting for her money. "I can assure, madam, by St Peter and St Paul, that you will see no bill for the next three months," she announces. But her employer will have none of that. The entire household is pleased with their new servants, including George, their son, who likes to fence with Mikail, as well as Helen, their daughter, who learns Russian songs from Tatiana. But when George starts to flirt with Tatiana, she rejects him. One evening, the Arbeziats invite over to dinner important men involved in an oil deal with Russia, including the people's commissar for petrolium, Dmitri, who, during the revolution, tortured Mikail and raped Tatiana when they were held in custody. One of the guests, Lady Kerrigan, recognizes Tatiana as the former czar's niece and a bank official recognizes Mikail, to the amazement of the Arbeziats. Dmitri also recognizes Mikail and coolly asks for a light for his cigarette. To Tatiana he asks for a glass of water. After drinking form the glass, she casually mentions she spit on it. As a result of this discovery and to their grief, Mikail and Tatiana learn that the Arbeziats will no longer keep them in their employ. At the end of the evening, Dmitri enters the kitchen to tell the two servants that he refuses to finalize the deal, thereby preventing French, British, and American influences on Russian soil. Instead, he requests Mikail to deliver the czar's money. Otherwise, a great famine is likely to ensue. Reluctantly, Mikail and Tatiana yield. Dmitri thanks Tatiana by kissing her reverently on the shoulder.
"Potato". Time: 1950s. Place: France.
"Potato" text at ?
When Leon asks his old school-friend, Noel, for a large loan, he refuses but then accepts to buy off his idea of being able to predict the future based on the tossing of dice. Leon's wife, Edith, is shocked to discover that their adopted 12-year-old daughter, Alexa, is having an affair with a married man. When Edith asks who he is, Alexa answers: "Authority comes too late, poor dear." When Edith opines that Alexa may not find happiness in such relation, she answers: "Happiness is perhaps not indispensable." She insists that Alexa will be unable to have a life with him. "My life!" Alexa exclaims. "You know well that we, the young, have no future." Mother and daughter are unable to keep the adulterer's letters away from Leon, who believes them to have been written to his own wife. "I adore to see you lift your skirt to prove you are right," he reads aloud in a shocked voice. After several series of confusions, Alexa finally reveals that the letters apply to her. After considerable effort, Leon discovers who the adulterer is, no other than Noel, on whom he plans to avenge himself for a lifetime of torment the man caused him, including being mocked as a school-boy for looking like a potato. Edith is revolted at this plan. Nevertheless, when alone with Noel, Leon threatens to reveal the content of the letters to his wife, Veronica, who in the event of a divorce would make him penniless. Leon jubilates at the thought, considering himself "a potato that is choking you". But Noel surprises Leon by announcing he intends to commit suicide, since his wife possesses letters proving the existence of illegal financial transactions on his part. Leon is forced to desist. On learning of her lover's situation, Alexa abandons him, preferring to "put a boy between herself and the man". They burn the letters. Despite this move, Veronica guesses the truth, but nevertheless chooses to remain with her husband.
"The king". Time: 1900s. Place: Paris, France
"The king" text at ?
Emile Bourdier, industrialist, mayor, and socialist member in the house of Commons, expects to be invited to a hunting trip organized by the marquis of Charamande, one of the hosts during King John IV of Serdania's visit in France, but he is disappointed. He is also disappointed because the marquis refuses to marry his son, Count Serin, with his daughter, Suzette. To avenge himself, Emile attempts to seduce the marquis' mistress, Theresa, an actress. After obtaining a rendez-vous with her, he is so overjoyed that he rushes into the next room to kiss his wife, Martha. In Theresa's boudoir, Blond, in charge of the king's security, enters disguised as a hairdresser to announce his imminent visit. Having slept with Theresa eight years ago, the king intends to relive that experience. Despite Blond's interference, Emile finds her in bed with the king. To mitigate her friend's anger, she announces that the king intends to hunt on his castle grounds, not at the marquis'. Overjoyed, the socialist politician kisses the king's hand. At Emile's residence, Martha is anxious about the reception and asks for Theresa's advice about how to salute his majesty. "One must sense deference at the calf but dignity at the torso," she recommends. As she prepares to leave, Martha insists on having her stay, to Emile's disgust. After the ceremonial duties are over and everyone has gone to bed, the king unexpectantly encounters Martha late at night. Eight years ago while he was parading down a street, she threw at him an apple turnover instead of flowers and hit him in the eye with it. He once pardoned this excessive show of enthusiasm by sleeping with her. He does so a second at her own home. The next morning, Emile discovers his wife in bed with the king. To appease his wrath, Theresa proposes to a round of politicians that they give her husband a new political appointment. They agree in conferring him with a minister's post. In gratitude to her cleverness, the king signs a commercial agreement between their two countries, at which Emile beams with pride amid his colleagues as the new minister.
"Boeing Boeing". Time: 1960s. Place: Paris, France.
"Boeing Boeing" text at ?
One morning at his apartment, Bernard cheerfully says goodbye to Janet, an American flight attendant. He immediately greets a second girl-friend, Jacqueline, a French flight attendant, who, in turn, is replaced by a third girl-friend, Judith, a German flight attendant. But Bernard is abashed on learning that Jacqueline's schedule has been altered, so that she returns to his apartment with Judith still present. Bernard suggests to Jacqueline that they head towards the countryside, while his friend, Robert, remains with Judith. With Judith in another room, Robert is stunned on seeing Janet enter, because her plane was forced back as a result of a snowstorm. As she walks towards the kitchen, Judith is puzzled at discovering an unknown travel bag on the floor (Janet's), which Robert explains away by saying the bag is his. When she leaves, Janet re-enters and wonders why he is holding on so tightly to her travel bag, only to find Judith's bag, which Robert explains by saying it is his. Bernard returns alone because he and Jacqueline quarreled in a restaurant and he does not know where she is. He proposes to Janet a walk in the country-side as he did with Jacqueline. But when Jacqueline suddenly returns, Bernard quickly ushers Janet out into another room. Jacqueline is equally puzzled at seeing Judith's travel bag, which Robert explains by saying it is his. With Judith out for a walk and Janet in the bathtub, Jacqueline proposes to take a bath, too, but is prevented by Robert, who says it his turn, at which Bernard agrees. After they successfully usher Janet in the adjoining room, Judith surprises both men by saying she loves Robert just at the moment when Jacqueline returns from her bath. To her, Bernard introduces Judith as Robert's betrothed and Jacqueline as his. When Judith wants to know more about this matter, the two men interrupt her with inane discussions. After the two other women leave, Janet declares she just received a letter from a millionaire announcing his intention of marrying her, which she intends to accept. For once, Bernard is all alone, and, to his regret, soon to be married.
"The faggot cage"
"The faggot cage". Time: 1970s. Place: St. Tropez, France.
"The faggot cage" text at ?
Larry asks his father, George, owner of a homosexual night-club, to change his apartment into a more austere one, because he plans to marry a woman whose parents, the Faithingods, have ultra-conservative views and he has invited them over. George asks his friend, Albin, to adapt his behavior to a more virile type, like their butcher's, but he is unable to and is ordered to stay away. When Mr Faithingod arrives, he notices the night-club sign outside and remarks: "Freedom, granted, but freedom with decency." "Absolutely," George concurs. At the supper-table, Mrs Faithingod asks about the figurines on their plates: "Are these young men playing together?" she naively asks. George reassures them on this and other matters, but is disagreeably surprised to find Albin entering the room as his wife. The Faithingods are surprised at seeing the soup-bowl in the form of a man's breast. George and Larry have a hard time controlling Albin, who is very close to compromising them several times. When a knock on the door is heard and the doorbell rings, George tries to camouflage the sound, but finally his estranged wife, Simone, enters, whom he introduces as the cleaning woman. Although their guests retire for the night, Mr Faithingod, finding his room too hot, comes out again to find Albin as a man, introduced as George's brother-in-law in a beach attire. "Was the sea nice?" asks Faithingod. Albin compromisingly responds: "O, like a caress." Mrs Faithingod then comes out for the same reason, at a time when the apartment is invaded by employees from below-stairs, which George explains by announcing he is organizing a masked ball. At last the Faithingods discover the truth, but are prevented from leaving on seeing journalists enter to take photographs of the premises. They are offered transvestite costumes to escape detection. "I hope the French people will be thankful towards us," Mrs Faithingod painfully remarks as they dance with the rest.
"The idiots' dinner"
"The idiots' dinner". Time: 1990s. Place: Paris, France.
"The idiots' dinner" text at ?
Pierre Brochant, a Parisian publisher, is in the habit of organizing an "idiots' dinner" with friends, each inviting a fool they can safely ridicule without his being aware of it. For this purpose, Pierre discovers François Pignon, a government employee with a passion for constructing famous landmarks such as the Eiffel tower with matchsticks. But before Pierre can introduce him for dinner, he hurts his back and asks François to locate his wife, Christine. François is such an idiot that, to Pierre's despair, he involuntarily reveals to her over the telephone the existence of her husband's mistress, Marlene, and, when she arrives, sends her away, mistaking her for Marlene. Juste LeBlanc, Christine's old lover, is solicited to help, but laughs at him instead. Pierre considers Christine may have gone to see Pascal Meneaux, a reputed philanderer, but he does not know how to contact him. François tries to help by asking Lucien Cheval, who works at the revenue service and knows about Pascal from his work-file. Before Lucien comes over, Pierre is stunned to learn he is an income tax inspector, quickly hiding valuable paintings and decorations the government knows nothing about. While calling up Pascal, Lucien discovers his own wife at his apartment, and is so hurt and angry that he leaves while threatening Pierre of an in-depth audit on his earnings. At last, François discovers the hidden purpose behind Pierre's dinner. Though hurt, he nevertheless calls up Christine in secret to help him out, lying that he is calling her from a phone booth to avoid her thinking Pierre put him up to it. But he blunders yet again by answering the phone in her husband's apartment, so that husband and wife are estranged more than ever, to Pierre's despair at ever meeting such an idiot.
"Marius". Time: 1920s. Place: Marseilles, France.
"Marius" text at ?
A port-bar owner, Cesar, tells his son, Marius, that he considers him "soft and lazy", "a dreamer", of litle use at work. While Marius tends the bar in his father's absence, Panisse, prosperous owner of sailing equipment, courts his childhood-friend, Fanny, a sea-side vendor. Panisse gazes so intently inside her cleavage that the two men quarrel. Panisse prefers to walk away rather than fight but proposes to Fanny's mother, Honorine, should she agree to the marriage, an impressive dowry for her daughter and a pension for her. Honorine reveals to Cesar of the possibility of her daughter marrying Panisse. In turn, Cesar questions Marius about his feelings towards Fanny, who answers he is unsure of loving her sufficiently for marriage and of the existence of another woman he is not inclined to let go, but the real sticking point is his desire to go to sea, which he does not tell him. Fanny refuses Panisse and seeks to delve into Marius' feelings for her. "I love you, and, if I could marry, it would be with you," he answers. But yet he feels the sea calling him. "I long for elsewhere," he admits. One day, Honorine comes charging into the bar, angry and weeping, with Marius' belt in her hand. She found him sleeping with her daughter and tells Cesar she wants them married at once. Meanwhile, Marius strikes a deal with the quartermaster of a ship leaving port, but is still hesitant about whether he should leave. Fanny reassures him. "I am not a trap, Marius," she says. "Since you prefer the sea, marry her." She will nevertheless wait for him during his three-year voyage. At the bar, she calls Cesar over and distracts his attention while his son slips out secretly towards the port.
"The terrible parents"
"The terrible parents". Time: 1930s. Place: France.
"The terrible parents" text at ?
Ivonne, along with her husband, George, and their 22-year-old son, Michael, live on a legacy obtained from her sister, Aunt Leonie, who manages the house for them. Ivonne is often careless, not only regarding the condition of the house but also her insulin-dependent diabetes. She is emotionally dependent on her son, to the extent of advising him to refuse job offers so that he can remain with her. The entire household is upset when Michael spends one night away from his parent's house without calling up. Ivonne becomes all the more frantic on learning he is in love with a woman named Madeleine. Without learning more about her than her age and generosity in occasionally paying for Michael's meals and cigarettes, Ivonne flies into a rage, calling her "a piece of shit", grabbing him in desperation, and yelling out the window for no reason. Leonie attempts to reason with her, underlining the sacrifices she has undergone on their behalf, including the love she still feels for George, whom she abandoned for her sister's sake. George is devastated on learning that Madeleine is his own mistress. George and Lenonie decide to force her to let Michael go, to which Ivonne heartily agrees, though not for the same reason. When all three visit her house, Madeleine discovers who Michael's father is. Left alone with her, George threatens that, unless she abandons Michael, he will reveal the nature of their adulterous relation to his son, so that she would probably lose him in any case. Madeleine is unwilling to do so, but finally gives up. The terrible parents and Leonie reveal that Madeleine has another lover, which Michael does not believe at first, but, on looking at his silent lover, finally does so. To help Michael recover from this blow, Ivonne smothers her son all the more. Recognizing his egotism in this affair and as an eyewitness to his son's despair, George changes his mind. He and Leonie tell Ivonne that they should tell Michael the truth, but she resists the mere thought of their being together again. At the same time, Ivonne correctly guesses that Madeleine was her husband's mistress. Despite her resistance, George and Leonie tell Michael the truth, who is overjoyed at the news. As everyone celebrates the lovers' reunion, Ivonne slips away and injects herself, not with insulin, but with a lethal poison.
"Hot off the press"
"Hot off the press". Time: 1920s. Place: Paris, France.
"Hot off the press" text at ?
A book publisher, Moscat, attempts to influence members of an award committee so that one of his authors, Marechal, obtains a prestigious literary prize, but after learning that the author signed with a rival book publisher, he arranges matters for him to lose, then, to torment him, offers him more money than he had already signed for. Moscat next contacts the publisher of the award-winning author named Mark and buys the rights of the novel. He asks to see Mark, but first meets his wife, Jacqueline, who, without her husband's consent, submitted his work for the prize. She and Moscat convince Mark to quit his clerk's position at the ministry to become a full-time author. But the plan does not pan out. Unable to continue with the second novel, Mark explains to Moscat that the first one was easier, being based on the journal of a young girl. When Moscat finds out the young girl in question is his wife, he proposes she should enter into a relationship with Marechal, whom he has forgiven and re-hired, and write down a second journal, with which her husband may find once more his inspiration. He invites all three to his villa, but things do not pan out any better there, Mark being unable to get used to Marechal's presence. Meanwhile, Marechal presses Jacqueline to sleep with him, which she is reluctant to do. She discloses Moscat's plan, which incenses him. She then admits she loves him but needs more time to decide what to do. When Mark learns she intends to do a few secretarial chores for Marechal, he becomes angry. Moscat intervenes by revealing his plot to him. Both insist that Jacqueline show her journal but it is empty. Pressed by her husband, she admits she loves Marechal and intends to go to her parents' house to think matters over. Marechal is about to join her there, but is prevented by Moscat's literary plans for him. As a result, Mark and Jacqueline are together again. She receives a visit from Marechal, not to woo her a second time, but to tell her he wrote a short story based on their relation. When Mark discovers this, he is incensed, but then reveals, to Jacqueline's and Moscat's delight, that he is also hard at work with his own novel concerning a man on the brink of losing his wife's love.
"Other people's heads"
"Other people's heads". Time: 1950s. Place: A fictionalized country called Poldavia.
"Other people's heads" text at ?
Court prosecutor Maillard and his family and friends are overjoyed at his obtaining a guilty verdict against Valorin for murder. But Maillard is stunned on seeing the convicted man in his own house, escaped from prison, and even more so on learning the alibi he used without being believed was the truth. Valorin said he was sleeping with an unknown woman at the moment when the crime was committed, who turns out to be Roberta, with whom Maillard enjoys an adulterous relation. Roberta does not want this known, because her reputation is likely to suffer among her worldly friends. When Valorin comes back after washing up, Roberta takes his gun and fires, with no result, because he took the precaution of emptying it. Maillard is forced to reveal the truth to Roberta's husband, Prosecutor Bertholier, who, though cursing her, also wishes to keep his wife's adultery a secret, promising with the help of the police to capture the true murderer. In the meantime, Maillard allows Valorin to live inside his house. Valorin attracts the sympathy of his wife, Juliet, seen together in a compromising position by the jealous Roberta. To get the upper hand over her, Juliet lies by saying Valorin is her lover. Roberta believes the lie and reveals it to the angry Maillard. After police investigations, Bertholier thinks to hold in custody the actual murderer, a man named Gozzo, but that does not satisfy Valorin, who wants the complete truth known about his relation with Roberta. Maillard refuses to cooperate, at which Juliet threatens to expose him, having heard him reveal the truth. To keep him quiet forever, Roberta hires two men to kill Valorin, but they mistake him for Maillard until she arrives. Alone with the murderers, Valorin hears them reveal the true murderer, not Gozzo but a man named Dujardin. When the assassins needlessly quarrel over their children's education, he seizes the opportunity of taking away their guns. Stunned at this turn of events, Roberta denies any intention to murder, intending only to intimidate him. They learn the killers belong to a mighty kingpin of crime named Alessandrovici. Hoping to liberate the guiltless Gozzo, Valorin and the two prosecutors visit Alessandrovici, who, a witness of Dujardin's incompetence, agrees to yield him to the police.
"Samson". Time: 1900s. Place: Paris, France.
"Samson" text at ?
Grace is indignant about the sudden way her lover, Jerome, left her once he began to make money, thanks to the financial advice of a sharp investor, James. Despite receiving such favors from James, Jerome initiates an adulterous relation with his wife, Anne-Marie. To spite Jerome, Grace reveals to James she has reason to suspect his wife is unfaithful and therefore advises him to pretend to go on a business trip and then surprise her by showing up unexpectedly at his house. He accepts and, as Grace anticipated, does not find her in his house late at night. When he confronts her, Anne-Marie reveals she does not love him any more and admits that Jerome is her lover. As a result, he locks her inside her room. "Do you know, sir, that you have become grotesque?" she asks sarcastically. He changes his mind, allowing her to stay in her room after promising to remain there. James confirms to Grace that her lover is also his wife's lover. Yet she admits she is still hoping to marry him, though conscious he is "incapable of love, but yet a lover." One day, James invites Jerome to dinner. In passing, Jerome mentions he invested even more heavily than he has in the past in Egyptian Copper stocks. Although James is an administrator of that company, whose stock they have both profited on, he nevertheless finds that move imprudent. He reveals he has arranged for that stock to fall abruptly at the Stock Exchange, ruining both himself and him, like Samson striking down the pillars over the Philistines' heads. After hearing about the Stock Exchange crash, Anne-Marie's parents and her brother suggest she should divorce James, all the more so after learning he might be arrested for fraudulent practices on the market, but he assures them he has a minister's word that he will not be prosecuted provided he respects his engagements. Unexpectedly, Anne-Marie declines to divorce him, willing instead to wait and discover whether she can learn to love him.