Guide to Social Activity/The Catch
Men are infinitely complex. Yes, they may be partly governed by certain primitive urges, but they are also capable of the height of feeling that produced Byron and Pushkin, the immensity of genius that characterised Einstein and Bohr, and the generosity of spirit that became Gandhi and Booth.
Been dumped recently? Only know grief from men in Your life? Don't despair for while such transgression is true for many men most of the time, and all men some of the time, there is another side to the other half.
Know your Target
Men have a number of general tendencies that it is important to be aware of. Following these pieces of advice will help:
- Be yourself. On pragmatic and moral grounds there is no basis for insincerity. You are who you are because you govern your life.
- Contain yourself. This however does not mean that you need to reveal or lay out on a plate everything that you sense or think or feel or believe. Keep some things back. A certain tentative restraint in a woman is frighteningly attractive.
- Relax. Remember that if it doesn't work it doesn't work. Have fun, and remember, the process takes time for a reason. Look beyond the tree and wait for the forest to come into view. You have as much time as you make it, to decide for sure if anything is permant.
- But now DO SOMETHING. If there are no guys where you are, go or wait patiently. If there is a guy, spend time around him. Let him know somehow. If there is more than one guy in your life, decide on one.
- Let him know. Use your own judgement. Think to yourself, "What if..." Well?
- Offer ideas and input when suggested If you want to do something, don't expect him to have all the answers. Don't assume too much in this area. If you really need to size up the situation, it'll be clear the more you interact and get to know each other. If you have something you like to do, offer it. (See Relax)
- Don't miss the blindingly obvious.
- Say "yes". Maybe it will come out of the clear blue sky, or maybe you've been waiting for years, but when he asks you out, then remember to say "yes".
- The massive secret: Don't be put off. Sometimes men just don't see it. Sometimes there are other things happening in their life. Sometimes there might be a relationship that he had not intended to get entangled up, or maybe he simply hadn't met you yet. Often, in the present author's experience, the girl walked away just as she had began to be properly appreciated. Patience is a necessary virtue and against any setback it is important not to be put off.
- Burn the bridge
- Things may not be right/work out until later, much later. You can't see far enough down the road to know for sure. At any rate, the bad blood you instill ends up hurting you just as much in the long run.