Title: American homes and gardens
Identifier: americanhomesgar91912newy (find matches)
Year: 1905 (1900s)
Authors:
Subjects: Architecture, Domestic; Landscape gardening
Publisher: New York : Munn and Co
Contributing Library: Smithsonian Libraries
Digitizing Sponsor: Biodiversity Heritage Library

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August, 191 2 AMERICAN HOMES AND GARDENS 299
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An attractive after-dinner coffee temper easily when her girl reaches maturity she will, very likely, be just what her mother has been in these respects. The girl who is constantly analyzing the motives of others, and her own actions as well, of a necessity is selfish. It may be because she is selfish that she is so critical. The two are closely interwoven, and this combination does not make the sunny girl. These are habits hard to get rid of and should be nipped in the bud. The woman who has this habit of criticism would hardly be charming, and that is what we wish our girls to train for. Do not let the habit of distrust grow in your girls, either of others or of herself. This too, is "Ideal." Help your girls to a proper appreciation of themselves, not to make them vain, but to rid them of self-conscious- ness. Let them know that you see their good points of looks and that you appreciate their efforts, and you will not have the regrets to carry that I have. I always told my first children that if I did not criticise or correct they might be sure I was pleased. I never praised for that might lessen effort. Now I believe that it would stimulate effort. I never told them of their good points in appearance for fear of creating vain thoughts. I humbly apologize to those children of long ago, but that will not bring back lost opportunities for giving well-merited pleasure, for we do love to be appreciated. They say I am spoiling these other children! Do not let your girl get the idea into her head that any work of the house is petty. If she does get it, help her to get rid of it at once. All of the ideals of life have a common center in the home. Can any part of the home- creation, even the dishwashing, have anything "petty" in it? When an ambitious woman is filled with real and true am- bition she regards every act of the day as a stepping stone toward a greater and more important work. Discontent too often masquerades under the guise of ambition, luring its victim and blinding the eyes. I think I have seen more discontent in the kitchen than anywhere else. Nearly every girl dislikes the daily routine of the kitchen, some like to do the pretty work of cake, candy and desserts. Yet, if a meal should be left out, and the dishes left undone those girls as well as the family would be disqualified for the larger things aspired to. Does not this prove how important a part of life is this work which some call "petty"? To every woman who makes each little thing about the home of sufficient importance to lift it out of the feeling that such work is "petty," will come the larger opportunity, for she, her own little self, will have created it. Unless set and a tea set of good design one can prove equal to the smaller duties how can one hope to master more important ones? Making the home attrac- tive certainly is a great "Ideal," and everyone knows that "The way to a man's heart is by way of the stomach." But the gravest responsibility of all the many responsi- bilities which the earnest mother has to bear and qualify for, to set the example for, is that of marriage. This work should begin in infancy. Health, strength, a proper regard for the body, must be all made into "Ideals" to work and strive for. Motherly sympathy at the crucial age is the girl's right, yet how often these girl children must go through this period unhelped save by injudicious help from outside. "Mother" with all that the dear title implies should give her girl-child the knowledge which protects. Happy are the girls and boys whose parents understand and appre- ciate the most critical periods of their lives, and whose sympathies make them friends of all; who delight in hear- ing their confidences and encourage the coming together of the young people in homes where the games are most enjoyable that are shared by the parents. The mother should make her daughter understand that real love does not come for the seeking, but will come upon her unawares, and she must be ready and worthy of the honor. It comes because we go on working, making ourselves worthy of it, then it suddenly appears before us when we least expect it. It does not come to the woman who is seeking selfishly for all she can get out of life. Without this true and holy love, a girl's life is in danger of becoming a failure. So it is in the mother's power to avert such a failure, if she can make home so attractive, herself so good a comrade, that her girls are held by the attraction of home-love until years of discretion are reached.

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