Micronations/List of already existing micronations/Sultanate of Mustachistan

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The Sultanate of Mustachistan is a micronation that claims a large portion of land in Nevada. Although most of its history is fictitious, it is true that Mustachistan went to war with the nearby micronation of Molossia because of a conflict of claims of land (parts of the land claimed by Mustachistan had previously been claimed by Molossia.) After a few weeks of "battle," Molossia won. The two countries then became allies.

Mustachistan has a space program in which it launches model rockets. One of these "missiles" was destroyed by Molossia, possibly causing future conflict.

Purported history[edit]

"Mustachistan was founded in 1718 when Sultan Ibn Tutin was expelled from the Ottoman Court for cheating at cards and making prank calls to prayer from the minaret of the local mosque. Gathering his retinue, which included his 16 wives, 47 children, 14 professional gamblers, 6 used wagon salesmen, a mad Albanian monk, a bearded lady from the local circus and about 300 goats, Ibn traveled east seeking a new home. Answering an ad in the local newspaper, he purchased some worthless desert land and thereupon established the Mustachistani nation. Within weeks of their arrival, the capital city of Al-Kaleye had grown to a dozen single-wide huts, surrounded by hound dogs, empty Ouzo bottles, wagons up on blocks and hundreds of goats.

And so things remained for nearly 200 years. Mustachistan drowsed as a quiet backwater, content to raise goats and forge welfare checks; life only enlivened by bingo night at the Sultan's Palace Casino. The principal export of Mustachistan was goat's milk, and the principal buyer of said milk was the neighboring nation of Schlepistan. But in 2003 the Schlepistani government, needing to finance a new double-wide palace for its Sultan, placed an import tax on Mustachistani goat's milk. The Mustachistanis were outraged, and halted the export of goat's milk to Schlepistan. To this, the Schlepistanis responded by buying a cow; thus, the sole export of Mustachistan [goat's milk] was no longer needed. Enraged, the Mustachistani Sultan, Ali-Ali Achsenfree mobilized his Army, and sent all five soldiers to invade and conquer Schlepistan. And to get rid of that cow. Alarmed, Schlepistan also mobilized, and sent their ten soldiers to repel the invaders. Out-numbered, the Mustachistanis fell back rapidly, and within minutes the Schlepistanis invaded Mustachistan. By the end of the day, Mustachistan had fallen to the Schlepistani Army, and the Mustachistanis were sent packing, literally. Mustachistan was absorbed into Schlepistan and the Mustachistani people became refugees.

The Mustachistanis traveled south, through Sneakistan, Sinistan and Ekstremistan [three countries claimed to lie to the south of Old Mustachistan,] before finally boarding the S.S. Rustbukit bound for the greener pastures of Ethiopia. Unfortunately, the S.S. Rustbukit wasn't actually headed for Ethiopia, and instead, six long months later, the Mustachistanis landed in California. California did not take well to 300 Mustachistanis and 700 goats appearing on their doorstep, and sent them packing...to Nevada. Nevada, already at war with California, was accustomed to refugees of this sort and worse, and took little notice of the arrival of the Mustachistanis.

So, in the high desert valleys and dusty back roads of the Silver State, the wandering Mustachistanis had finally found a home."

War with Molossia[edit]

See Molossian-Mustachistani War

In 2006, Mustachistan went to war with the Republic of Molossia because of conflicting land claims. Although the first battle of the war was indecisive, following this the Mustachistanis were defeated in two separate battles and sued for peace.

Space program[edit]

"Mustachistan Missile Crisis"[edit]

References[edit]

External links[edit]