Courtship (For Men)
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So you have a girl that is compatible. You know she likes you, or was attracted to you at some point in time, but things just went sour at some point and it is now awkward to talk to each other. Even though two people like each other, it can still be awkward if there isn't clear communication. You are either not reading her signal to approach, not approaching her right away (taking too long), not starting with a leading comment (not saying the right thing).
The simplest mistake and easiest to correct is taking too long. Use the three second rule. As soon as you know she's sending you a signal approach her right away and start with the right comment. Of course you'll need to know how to read signals and what to say. That is what we talk about next.
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[edit] Pick Up Her Signals
She will be giving out flirting signals. She will look at you, make an open circle with her girlfriends or brush her hair when you look at her. She might walk by you or loosen her blouse when you are around. Other less direct signals are when she stands alone and not busy and makes herself captive (captive audience).
She will go somewhere where she's alone and not doing anything in particular. It is somewhere in an open space where you can easily approach her. She might be looking at a board, or looking out the window or standing at the door, or sitting by a table in the middle of the room, or sitting in a sofa in the middle of the room. The area is very accessible. If no one is approaching her, that means it's for you. She shouldn't be busy with anything, only something trivial as an excuse to stand in that place. If she's really busy and still in a central location, just look at her and make eye contact instead of approaching her all the way.
She will make herself captive. Girls want you to come on to them to see your intentions and you have to do this or else she will not feel appreciated enough. But she doesn't want to look like a slut for being with you, or talking to you so forward. So what she will do is put herself into a situation where she can not leave, so that she has an excuse to listen to you. The key here is to not chase her away. Stop doing your spiel before she has a chance to leave and disengage before your time is up.
For example. This girl likes you, she moves into a cubicle next to yours in the office. She's made herself captive because now you can talk to her in between tasks. Let's say you work a nine to five day. You get off at lunch and at five o'clock. Lay off the lingo half an hour before lunch and half an hour before five. All the other time you are going to be flirtatious, forward even mischievous. Remember, she moved next to you to make herself captive. It's up to you to make a move. She will be calling you fresh and bad and calling your comments annoying and inappropriate which is ok as long they are flirtatious and not rude and as long as you cool off before you leave, half hour before lunch and half hour before five.
Girls make themselves captive in all sorts of ways. When they do, that means they want you to approach them and be a little too forward and use her being captive. Being too forward is ok as long as you keep it flirtatious and sexual as opposed to obnoxious or anything rude, no put downs. And as long as you disengage before your time is up, as a cool off. If you chase her away she will not come back, but if you cool off before the time is up, the cool off will make is seem ok to come back and she will make herself captive for you again.
Some examples of girls making themselves captive: sitting next to you during a class, sitting next to you in church during a sermon, sitting next to you during a bible study, sitting next to you during a shift at work. Two things. First she is the one who set's up the situation, she is the one who comes near you and sits with you no the other way around. Second, there is a particular duration so you know when your time is coming close so you know when to cool off.
Girls also crouch, they sit down on steps, or sit in an open space to read a news paper for fun. Psychologically it is harder to stop doing something to get up and walk away. As long as she's not actually busy with an assignment on the article in the newspaper, she's making herself captive. Use that opportunity, because if you don't she will feel neglected and not come back again.
Sometimes a girl would be on her way to walk past you, and just as she's next to you she kneels down to tie her shoes. Make a witty remark to be flirtation, something about how the thicker the show laces the harder it is to get them in the holes. And turn away to disengage before she has a chance to leave. This way you are not chasing her away and she will come by you again.
[edit] Approach Right Away
The next thing to know is once you have detected those signals from her, to move in right way and start talking. as long as you know that you have to respond right away, it shouldn't be a problem. If it doesn't go smooth just walk away. As a matter of fact it will not go smooth the first couple of times: you will have to approach a girl several times before she's comfortable. Move in right away and leave right away to give her personal space. Move out of her territory and turn away from her to cool things off. Mean while keep glancing back at her every couple of minutes or so for another signal. When you see the signal, you move in again and so on.
[edit] Say The Right Thing
Sometimes things get awkward just because you are not saying the right thing. What ever the reason is, if it's awkward leave and wait for your signal again. It helps a lot knowing what to say. One of the worst mistakes is with a yes or no question. The only time you start with a yes or no question is when you approach her first without her giving you a signal, such as at a party when you first see her. If she already gave you a signal to move in, that is your yes, ask open ended questions.
One of the best things to say is a leading phrase. A leading phrase implies that there is move information and it directs where the conversation will go. For example: how awesome is this party? That is a leading question because it directs you to talk about the party being awesome. It doesn't ask are you enjoying this party? It verifies with confidence that this party is awesome.
Even better than a leading question is a leading phrase. A leading phrase is based on what you know about one word or one thing that the girl is doing at the present time. If a girl is next to you tying her shoes she is thinking one thing: shoe laces. Of course she's also thinking about work, dinner, the next assignment dues date, what ever. But at this point right now the one thing in her mind is shoelaces. Say one line, what ever you know about shoelaces. Some of them are too thick and it's hard to get them into the holes. Add a little sexual connotation and you have got your self pick up line.
To figure out what to talk about look at what she doing. She might be stretching, eating, drinking etc. If she's not doing anything in particular notice what she's looking at. She could be looking at a picture on the wall, a puppy, a rose. Do not talk about this one particular rose, it's not an opinion. Say something what ever comes to mind that you know about flowers because that is her connection with you.
If she's not doing anything in particular, and she's not looking at anything in particular, notice what she's doing with her hands. She might be holding something, like playing around with a pen, then talk about that. So the ingredients are to find the one thing that's on her mind right now at the present time. Some trivial simple little thing. Talk about what ever you know about those things, nothing related to the actual thing, but something from your own knowledge. Add sexual connotation. The whole process puts her and you together with sex involved and you've got the recipe for attraction.
It's not really that hard to approach women. Once you have figured out the formula for coming up with one liners breaking the ice will be easy. The hardest step is to do it right away, as soon as you get the signal from the woman. And the solution for that is off course to leave right away so you can wait for the signal and try again.
