Bartending/Cocktails/Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster
|Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster|
|Flavour||"Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick."|
The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster was invented by Zaphod Beeblebrox, a major character in Douglas Adams' novel The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. The effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon, wrapped 'round a large gold brick. It has also been described in the novel as the alcoholic equivalent to a mugging; expensive and bad for the head. Its original, fictional recipe, is as follows:
- Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol' Janx Spirit.
- Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V.
- Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).
- Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it.
- Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qalactin Hypermint extract.
- Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger.
- Sprinkle Zamphuor.
- Add an olive.
- Drink . . . but . . . very carefully . . .
Earth recipes 
Recipe number four 
- 1 1/2 shots 151 Proof Rum
- 1/4 shot Tequila
- 1/4 shot Gin
- 2/3 shot Triple Sec
- 1 shot Blue Curaçao
- 1 dash Bitters
- 1 dash Grenadine
Recipe number five 
- 4 parts Bacardi Citron
- 1 part Bacardi 151 (for color)
- 1 part Goldschlager
- 1 part Everclear (to cut Goldschlager)
Recipe number six 
- 1 part Everclear (or any other strong grain alcohol such as Bourbon, Moonshine, or Vodka)
- 1 part Bitter Lemon (or plain Tonic Water)
- 1 part Bombay Sapphire Gin (or other gin)
- 1 part Yukon Jack Perma-Frost Schnapps (or other mint schnapps, or white crème de menthe)
- Enough blue food coloring to make the mixture a very light sky blue
- Sugar cubes
- Cinnamon extract
- Yellow food coloring (optional)
- Angostura Bitters
Mix the first five ingredients and chill (usually for 24 hours). Then, take a sugar cube and let it absorb 1 milliliter of cinnamon extract and 1 drop of yellow food coloring (optional). Place three ice cubes in a glass and pour the chilled liquid mixture over these. Drop in the sugar cube and stir to dissolve, or just let it sit (if food coloring is used, often the sugar cube is just left to sit, to create a layering effect with the color). Sprinkle the Angostura Bitters in the drink, and add an olive. Drink, but very carefully.
Alternatively, one can let the sugar cube absorb 1 milliliter of Angostura Bitters, and sprinkle ground cinnamon on the top of the drink, thus omitting the cinnamon extract.
It is often more convenient to make a large amount of the mixture ahead of time and chill for a day, rather than to constantly mix more of it. It's also best to save it for a special occasion, such as Towel Day, due to the work put into making the drink.
Recipe number 7 
2 measure of white orujo. 1 measure of gin. 3 measures of tonic water. Angostura drops. Lemon drops. Add an olive.
Recipe number 8 
1 dash absolut citron 1 dash goldschlager 2 dashes everclear 1 dash lemonclhello
Find an old Champagne glass like the kind Bogey uses in Casablanca
Fill the rest of glass with extra dry or brut champagne: Andre if, you're... well, a "hitchiker", Vueve Clique if you're not.
Recipe from "Spiders" Nightclub in Hull,UK 
Invented in 1981 By George Mercer and Mark Borril, formerly known as a firebird special, and is a combination of a harvey wallbanger and a tarantula! named so because anybody who drank one passed out ,
- 25ml Vodka
- 25ml Pernod
- 25ml Galliano
- 25ml Blackcurrant
- 25ml Orange juice
- Enough cider to top up
Pour over some ice, stir and enjoy!
Recipe reverse-engineered from a stain on RJ Lanning's towel 
- 1 oz vodka (that Ol' Janx Spirit)
- 1 oz Clamato (oh, those Santraginus fish)
- 1 oz ice cold gin (Arcturan Mega-gin)
- 4 oz Zipang Sparking Sake (Fallian marsh gas)
- 1 oz Creme de Menthe (Qalactin Hypermint extract)
- 1 Jalepeno (tooth of an Algolian Suntiger)
- Sprinkle with lemon zest (Zamphuor)
- add an olive
WARNING: Drinking Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters may cause serious damage to the rods and cones in the human eye, thus explaining why consumers of this beverage have often reported it to be green in color when, in fact, it is not.
Official Fried Farmers Recipe 
Flavour "Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick."
In a carafe
- 20 oz. Jack Daniels
- 20 oz. Captain Morgan's Spiced Rum
- 20 oz. Southern Comfort
- 20 oz. Jose Cuervo Gold
- 20 oz. Triple Sec
- 20 oz. Lime Cordial
- 40 oz. Fresh Orange Juice
- 40 oz. Sprite
Add 2 bags of ice and stir well. Remember... Flavour "Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick."
Recipe For The Ones With Seriously Damaged Rods And Cones 
- 1 oz. Jack Daniels
- 1/2 oz. Peach Schnapps
- 1/2 oz. Blue Curaçao
- 1-2 Drops Of Lemon Extract A Bit More If You Use Juice
- Orange Juice
Fill the glass 3/4 full of ice, add the booze, top it off with OJ, mix well.
Recipe from a Pan-Asian restaurant-at-the-end-of-a-collegiate-Black-Hole-Universe 
- Martini glass, chilled
- 3.0 Sugar cubes, dowsed w/ Chartreuse and Creme-de-Menthe
Set aside for later... DO NOT MUDDLE!!!
Fill a cocktail shaker w/ ice, then...
- 2.0 Citron vodka
- Dash Limoncello
- Dash Sweet & Sour mix (or use freshly muddled sugar and lemon)
SHAKE. Strain—loosely, w/ Boston shaker
ADD the seasoned Sugar Cubes (see above)
TOP w/ Sprite + Tonic
- 2.0 Basil Seed Drink (available at most Asian markets)
- Dash Blue Curaçao (sinks)
- Dash Absinthe (floats)
- Dash Nutmeg -or- Five-spice
GARNISH w/ olive [Do not omit!]
Recipe number forty-two 
Into a 12 oz glass
- drop two - three large ice cubes
- sprinkle a pinch or two of cayenne pepper
- 1/4 tsp powdered vanilla
- 1/8 tsp lemon extract
- 1/2 shot 151 Proof Cruzan Rum (Bacardi will not turn out well)
- 1/2 shot 80 Proof Gold Rum
- 3/4 shot Tequila
- 1 shot Sapphire Gin
- 1 shot green Creme de Menthe
TOP w/ Sprite (or fizzy lemonade)
Stir exactly twice from top to bottom!
Add an olive
For a nice touch add 8 1/2" frozen gin cubes (4:1 water:gin)
The Mallet Assembly's Recipe 
Fill a 28-oz. hurricane glass with crushed ice. Add the following in order:
- 1 oz. Everclear® (The ice should sizzle.)
- 1 oz. Bacardi® 151
- 1 oz. apricot-flavored brandy
- 1 oz. triple sec
- 1 oz. lemon juice
- 1 oz. orange juice
- 1 oz. pineapple juice
- 1 oz. Tom Collins mix
Stir, then top off the glass with ice. Drink. Slowly.
This recipe is a modified version of the Pat O'Brien's® "Skylab [Fallout]". Some have suggested replacing the apricot-flavored brandy with peach-flavored brandy and cutting back on the citrus while increasing the amount of Collins mix; purists argue that the resulting drink is a bit too sweet. This recipe is not strictly analogous to Douglas Adams' recipe, but the effect is the same, and the equimolar quantities of ingredients make it easily scalable (until you've had one, at least). As an added bonus, the dregs may be used to restore the shine to old pennies.
The BarBot Recipe 
Prepare one part of each:
- Whiskey (preferably cheap and harsh)
- Orange juice
- Lime juice, diluted to taste
- Ginger beer
Have a robot dispense each measure into an iced tumbler from a considerable distance. Thank your robot, and prepare for the rest of your night to become a blur.
The Housewarming Recipe 
This is a slightly sweet drink, but hey, I like sweet. And this recipe gives an unparalleled visual experience.
Use a 16oz clear glass. Add the following:
- 1 oz. Grape Juice
- 2 oz. Pineapple Juice
- 1 oz. Citron Vodka
- 1 oz. Hot Cinnamon Schnapps
Then add a glowing ice cube. You can find glowing LED ice cubes online. The best are the ones that change color. Then:
- 2 oz Sprite®
- 4 oz Club Soda
That is, fill up the rest of the glass with Sprite® and Club Soda in a 1:2 ratio, but leave an inch or so of room at the top of the glass.
It's best if the Sprite® and Club Soda are room temperature, not cold.
Then add a piece of dry ice.
For a minute or so you'll have the full Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster experience: a glowing, bubbling drink overflowing with mist (Fallian marsh gas). Once the dry ice has bubbled away, enjoy. Best served at night, or in a dark environment.
A Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster may be had at:
- Cocktail Bar Tijuana in Belgrade, Serbia
- Zaphod Beeblebrox bar in Ottawa, ON (Canada),
- 42 bar in Athens, Greece
- Spiders gothic nightclub in Hull, UK (recipe mentioned above)
- No Name Bar in Boulder, CO, USA
- Black Spot Cafe Bar in Hyannis, Ma, USA
- Coppers Corner in Laramie, WY
- A Night Kitchen in Seattle, WA, USA - no longer in business
- AFK Tavern in Everett, WA, USA
- Silly's With a Twist, ME, USA
- JD's Sports Bar in Grants Pass, OR, USA
- Bar at the end of the universe (Бар на края на Вселената), Sofia, Bulgaria (1 in the centre, 1 close to the MetOffice)
- BarBot 2012, from the Santa BarBot table, San Francisco CA (USA)
- Grumpy Dave's Pub in Bowling Green, OH USA
- Baja Bean, The Corner, Charlottesville, VA USA
- Dernier bar avant la fin du monde, 19 avenue Victoria, Paris (Fr)
- Robin Hood Bar in Beyoğlu, İstanbul, Turkey
Other bars may be able to mix any of the recipes above (or one of their own). Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters were also served at a couple of the stage show adaptations of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy in the late 1970s, according to Neil Gaiman in his book Don't Panic: The Official Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Companion. In Russia a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster may be had at the Coffee&Books art-cafe in St.Petersburg.